Chryssie Whitehead’s Own Little Corner
SHOW NOTES
In today’s episode, Chryssie Whitehead discusses:
Her 25 year career across film, television and theater
Making her Broadway Debut in the 2006 Revival of A Chorus Line and being part of the accompanying documentary “Every Little Step”
Navigating rejection in the entertainment industry
Discovering the acting bug and the importance of staying true to oneself
Her experiences with depression and mental health, and how she found healing through therapy and medication
Creating and performing her show, 'In My Own Little Corner,' which aims to normalize conversations around mental health
The unpredictable nature of an acting career, including her experience on Grey's Anatomy
Chryssie Whitehead is an artist, author, director, choreographer, educator, mentor and producer who began her 25 year career as a Rockette. She made her Broadway Debut in the 2006 revival of A Chorus Line as Kristine, which was also captured in the hit documentary, Every Little Step. She is also heard on the cast album in "Sing" with Tony nominated actor, Tony Yazbeck. She then joined the international tour of Fosse, played Kitty and understudied Velma in Broadway’s Chicago, performed alongside Neil Patrick Harris in Company at Lincoln Center, and danced on Paul McCartney’s international tour.
Her film and television credits include Stephen Spielberg’s West Side Story, Revenge of the Bridesmaids with Raven Symone, Grey’s Anatomy, and being the dance double in Save the Last Dance with Julia Stiles.
Chryssie is the Co-founder and Co-Director of Broadway Arts Community and its non-profit sister, Broader Than Broadway where she serves as a mentor and coach. She is currently on tour with her autobiographical play with music, In My Own Little Corner: My Moods, My Mom, and Me, as author, artist and lead producer, seeking to normalize conversations around mental health.
Follow along on Chryssie’s journey: @chryssiewhitehead
TRANSCRIPT
Jessica
Hello and welcome to The Story Project. Today’s guest is Chryssie Whitehead, an artist, author, director, choreographer, educator, mentor and producer who began her 25 year career as a Rockette. She made her Broadway Debut in the 2006 revival of Chorus Line as Kristine, which was also captured in the hit documentary, Every Little Step. She then joined the international tour of Fosse, played Kitty and understudied Velma in Broadway’s Chicago, performed alongside Neil Patrick Harris in Company at Lincoln Center, and danced on Paul McCartney’s international tour.
Her film and television credits include Stephen Spielberg’s West Side Story, Revenge of the Bridesmaids with Raven Symone, Grey’s Anatomy. She was also the dance double in Save the Last Dance with Julia Stiles.
Chryssie is the Co-founder and Co-Director of Broadway Arts Community and its non-profit sister, Broader Than Broadway where she serves as a mentor and coach. She is currently on tour with her autobiographical play with music, In My Own Little Corner: My moods, my mom, and Me, as author, artist and lead producer, seeking to normalize conversations around mental health.
In today’s episode, Chryssie discusses her Broadway Debut, navigating rejection, creating and performing her own show, her generous approach to teaching, and her desire to normalize conversations around mental health.
Please enjoy this conversation with Chryssie Whitehead…
Okay, hi Chrissy. Hey. So happy to have you here. Thank you for being here. I'm so excited.
chryssie
Yes, we got the hoodie memo. Look at us.
Jessica
Yes, hoodies, comfy, cozy, buckled in, ready to ride. I'm starting us off with an anecdote, which is that you, okay, so I found out about you through my friend Mateusz, who was taking your classes in New York.
chryssie
Hi Jessica! At all. Hehehe
Jessica
and I was not taking dance classes, nor do I take any dance classes anymore. And at all really, yeah. I've taken, I took a, he finally got me into one jazz, one beginner's intermediate something jazz class one time, and I took a couple of beginner intermediate ballet classes at Steps in the basement, like in that basement studio, which I prefer.
chryssie
Yeah, that's the one I was teaching in for the very longest time.
Jessica
There you go. That is so cozy to me. And I was living up there and I said to him, listen, if I'm going to take a class, it's gonna be at steps because then I don't have a subway ride to back out of it. Like I just will walk over there and that's it. Anyway, I didn't come to your class, but he was telling me about you for a while and how aligned we are and everything that you teach and the way that you approach.
chryssie
I hear you. Mmm.
Jessica
your classes and how you interact with your students and what you offer to them in terms of such a holistic perspective and a way to really care for yourself and approach yourself as a whole artist and a whole human being and not just a robot, a dancing machine and a number, yeah, really resonated with me. And so when we were connected to this podcast together, I was extra excited because that seed
chryssie
And the number, yeah.
Jessica
of connecting with you have been planted back then. Which is a couple of years, yeah, exactly.
chryssie
from Mateus. Yeah. And when I looked you up, Jessica, I was like, wow, we are very much in alignment. I felt the same way about your approach, your yoga as well, and the journaling, and the discussions, and what you offer.
Jessica
Yeah.
chryssie
a wide range of things because you've been there and you've done that. And it's the same thing with me and Alexis at Broadway Arts Community. So it's, I love seeing like-minded, especially educators, passionate educators. It's really nice. So congrats.
Jessica
Mm-hmm. Can you tell us? Thank you. Thank you and congrats to you too. Can you start off by telling us about Broadway Arts Community?
chryssie
Mm-hmm. Thank you. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's such a beautiful baby with my best friend. We didn't, you know, it's our baby together. It's founded on love and friendship and over 20 years of being in the business and wanting to pass it on and pay it forward to the next generation of artists, performing artists, that is with Broadway Arts Community. So in New York City, we're offering, I offer as, I really try really hard.
And Alexis is in Tampa, so we have a lot going on right now. But in New York, we try and offer like a pay what you can. We just recently started doing this for our sacred space dance classes, which would be wonderful for you to join as your first dance class back because we start in a circle and we bring our journals and we I let I let the conversation flow like it is here. I also give the forum.
Jessica
Yes.
chryssie
I say I, meaning when I'm speaking, being in New York, but Alexis joins me a lot in New York City as well, so that everybody can have the pair of us. But a lot of times it's me. And so we do that and then we talk and we open up about what are our fears, what are our inspiration, what do we do to take care of our brains, it ranges, right? And so Sacred Space is like always making the space that we come into, which to me is the dance studio.
Right? And like, it can be a fearful place or it can be the most freeing place. So it's like, which F are you gonna choose? You gonna choose free or you gonna choose fear? And so obviously I would love to unpack like whatever that is for you. I mean, I too don't take many dance classes. I'm also probably a lot older than you. I'm 44. So I think you're probably in your early 29. You're not even 30 yet.
Jessica
Mm-hmm. Yes. 29.
chryssie
So yeah, so I got like 15 years on you, right baby? And not to be patronizing, but I, at all, it's just more, I have more experience. And so I haven't taken class a lot, but when I do take class, I'm free because it is my childlike joy. But I also don't like taking class with people that I usually teach because I just wanna take class for me. And I know that there's another.
Jessica
Mm-hmm.
chryssie
I took one of the big people's classes just to try it out and see what is all the fuss about all these people that have many people.
Jessica
Right?
chryssie
And then I got called out from that teacher saying, we have somebody in the class tonight. So, you know, it's like, which is fine. And I appreciate that. And it was nice to be honored and to be recognized, but I was trying to be in a corner, just, you know, letting it go with the lights and the let it, you know, and so, and I appreciated it very much. But, and at the same time, I'm like, where can I go where I can just be?
Jessica
Right. Mm-hmm.
chryssie
So I don't know where that is for you. But anyway, so BAC is that. Being, Alexis and me, is super important. So we do classes, we do musical theater song coaching classes, I'm coaching people on their auditions. You know, my career went from a dancer to heavily, heavily in my acting training, went to school for musical theater, and really wanted to be an actor.
And I was like, I really didn't want to dance forever. So I went to LA and so basically I'm pulling it back to BAC in the sense that we offer all of that. We offer, I ended up, me and Alexis together must have been on 50 different television shows. So we literally have an arsenal of body of work of playing leads in regional theater. I did Chicago, I understudied Belma. So I got to go in for that. One night only, that's a whole nother conversation.
But, and what we do is we take all this work that we've done and we say, it's got a lot of information. What do you want to learn? So we get all kinds. We get dancers who are nervous to sing. We get singers who feel very comfortable with singing. They want to deepen their acting and their storytelling. Because I think one of the things that Alexis and I did that not a lot of dancers have done is crossover into acting and really get paid as an actor. There's like a handful of like,
Jessica
Hmm
chryssie
name really that have done that. Maybe there's doing that. That's in my generation. I don't know what's going on in your generation. Maybe there's a handful that's doing that, but it's a quite a tough crossover. And now we're like, we don't want to do that. She has two boys. I have other things. I love working with my students. I'm like, let's just shine a light on your light and let's see what happens with you. You know, and that's what's fun for me. I don't need to, I don't need to do the business anymore.
Jessica
Hmm. Yeah. Yeah, oh my gosh, so much from that. Yeah.
chryssie
So we created BAC. Yeah, we created BAC, because we were like, how do we give back? And then now we've created, we're in the process right now of becoming a sister to BAC, which is a for-profit, is a nonprofit. So we're doing broader than Broadway. BTB, broader than Broadway is gonna affect using our Broadway background, which is a little bit here and there. We have like five shows between us. And then...
and all of our acting and giving our performing arts life skills to people. Like not being about going to Broadway, not being about like, what can dance give you? What does singing give you? How does it make you want to stand tall and be proud? You know what I mean? So we're thrilled. That's that's in the next moment right now. So we have BAC and BTB and that could be all many things, but I digress.
Jessica
It's incredible. It's what is so necessary and actually so rare for performers to get to experience that guidance and that information and for you to open up and say, hey, look at everything that I have experienced and
chryssie
Mm. Yeah.
Jessica
look at everything I've done and look at how I've evolved and look at all this information I have, let's pour it out into this next generation. Let's connect, yeah. And also then I know for myself, and I don't wanna speak for you, but I assume there's some part of like, anything that I have experienced that was negative, I want his voice to say, hey,
chryssie
Pay it forward. Yeah.
Jessica
You don't need to experience this thing. Or let's connect in a way that'll help you move through it a little bit more empowered or a little bit stronger, a little more of an advocate for yourself and taking care of your brain and your body and all the things that we somehow magically don't learn until it's too late. Not too late, but until it, it's too.
chryssie
Yeah. I mean, till it gets to a point where somebody's saying, I don't take dance class anymore, right? Like I would, I'm excited to just meet you, to invite you to like, I mean, I could even be an accountability partner with you and you and I could both be like, so did you find a studio yet? Did you find a studio yet? That like, or is it salsa? Is it para dance? Where you're not around all the people that know you?
Jessica
Yes, 100%, 100%. Hmm.
chryssie
Just to see what it does for you because surely when you first started dancing, it gave you joy.
Jessica
Right. Oh yeah, the most, the most joy. And also what I've talked about a lot is how when you feel disconnected from the thing that lights you up the most, then how are you ever gonna feel connected to yourself? How are you ever gonna feel empowered when you're saying, oh, I don't wanna do this thing anymore. I wanna, I'm gonna, this part of my life is dimmed.
chryssie
the most.
Jessica
then I'm dimming a part of myself. It's not just an activity that I do for shits and giggles. Like this is part of who I am. So when you are, yeah. So when you're dimming that, and that's something that I really tried to highlight on this podcast too, is that the small traumas and the big traumas that we've experienced throughout our lives as performing artists that may not feel like a huge deal in a given moment can impact you forever.
chryssie
Part of your identity, yeah.
Jessica
I really celebrate what you're doing and the fact that I know I didn't come to your class, but the fact that I really did consider it, I actually think I was going to come to one and then it was actually a scheduling thing. Like I think I had the, I think he talked me into it enough and I felt comfortable enough and then it just didn't happen, but it definitely...
chryssie
Mm-hmm. He had the mojo. Yeah.
Jessica
will happen especially now actually meeting you. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you.
chryssie
Anytime, door is always open. Yeah, always open. We have one tonight, so. They're spread sprinkled throughout just with my schedule and stuff. And then I try to do a spotlight here and there, and then I'm going to do some BDC, but I don't teach on a regular basis like I used to. The first couple years I was back, I was teaching hardcore on a regular basis, but.
Jessica
I also want to highlight what you said about going in to take a big class, one of those big classes that everyone takes and the cameras are on you and they're calling people out and it's a performance. It's not class, it's not an invitation necessarily to try and fail and explore and play. It is who is watching me.
chryssie
Mm-hmm.
Jessica
am I going to get called out to be celebrated in this moment? Which again, lovely in some ways, and in other ways, well then what about everyone else who's trying their hardest and doesn't know the choreographer, doesn't know the teacher, or whatever it is? And again, if that's your vibe, that is your vibe, do your thing, enjoy, whatever, that's that. But, but
chryssie
Right. Great. Hehehehe
Jessica
having more spaces for people to actually come. The amount of people I talk to about this who are like, yeah, I hate that vibe of class, but I don't know anything else. Go to Chrissy's class. Hehe
chryssie
Yeah, I mean, I definitely am not and I'm not. I mean, I have I have students come, you know, and I think, you know, people. Know of me, but I definitely know the circuit of and I did it too when I was younger, like. You got to be picky with who you're going to take, because you think if who you're taking from is working, then you feel like you have another chance at being seen. So I get that.
Jessica
Mm-hmm.
chryssie
I really get that because I've worked as a director and a choreographer, but I'm not working as a director or choreographer, right? And so I don't have a lot of clout other than people would wanna just be in my orbit because they know of me and that I am a caring teacher and that I care about every single person that walks into that room that they feel seen. But that doesn't warrant a lot of numbers in the studio.
So it's an interesting dynamic to see, especially on social media when you can see what other rooms are doing. You're like, wow, okay, so that's really real, right? Choose your pleasure. And when I do a spotlight and I have video, because I do bring in it, because now I'm doing it so randomly that I'm like, I mean, there is so much video of everybody that I find it quite,
Jessica
Mm-hmm.
chryssie
saturated and not everybody needs to see another video of me directing and choreographed like after a while you just get like just Go to the website and just go check out what you need to check out and then Call it a day like nobody has time to look at video after video after video but anyway, my point being is that I do when I have I let you know people know it's filmed and I Don't call people out until
probably like more so after class, like I've been doing a lot of things where it's just the whole class. I just want people to feel the energy of my whole class. So there's filming just going on, getting everybody at every different angle. I'm not saying you need to do X, Y, and Z, but again, I think we all have to look at the intentions behind everybody and that each intention has its place. Each intention has its place.
Jessica
Yeah. There it is.
chryssie
Like if I am a director choreographer and I am changing up stuff and I have like, next week I'm doing it and I'm passionate, I mean I used to live with my director choreographer at my show, Brian. That man was probably the hardest working director choreographer I've ever seen. Maybe because I'm living with him. But he would literally get in this little studio over here and, boom, and he's like making his choreography.
up in this small little studio and he did it week after week after week and it would change and he would challenge himself and he would and that's when I started to realize I was like oh I don't think I like want that as much as he wants that right like so there's something to that and he's an amazing teacher too right so we all have our intentions and sometimes he forgets filming he's like because he's old school like me so he's like I don't care about the filming and then there's then he's intentional about the filming and he's like ba you know what I mean?
Jessica
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
chryssie
So I think it depends on what class you go to. It's super important to me. I get everybody's names. So when everybody walks into a room, and honestly for Spotlight I've had, I think at the most like 25 people. And half of them are normally people I know. And then half are probably new people. So I meet the new people, but I hug my people. I just am like, hey. Just so, I don't like the competition vibe. I had it when I was a kid all the time.
Jessica
Yeah.
chryssie
I loved dancing. I hated that people would be jealous of me because I was so good. It was really hard to accept. Nobody ever talks about the people that are really good. They get shit at upon. Everybody talks about the people that aren't as good, who are hating on the people that are good, but nobody talks about the people who have worked their ass off to become who they have become and also want friends and also don't wanna be talked about and also maybe are a nice person and you know, but people want to make you out to be like you're not. That I know that energy. So when I teach, I try to dissipate that as much as possible and get back to the joy. What were you wearing when you were a little kid? When you started dancing, what was that jam song that you were, what were you, what were you in pigtails was your hair buzz cut, you know, and like, let's bring her in and so it starts from the warmup.
It doesn't start when we get the dance combination. Every song I put in is, I'm sure like every other choreographer and teacher, but could be wrong, is very intentional. The message that I'm saying, the messages of the music, I make everybody high five in between songs. You know what I mean? Yeah, just because I'm like, turn around to somebody and say, you got this. You know, just even like, just gets you out of your, cause we just get, unfortunately I have seen the fear.
Jessica
Love. Mm-hmm.
chryssie
rise and rise and rise in New York City. So that's when I wanna be like, come get into my arms for a hot second, feel this energy and see if you can bring that and put that back out when you are around intimidating spaces because you're letting it intimidate you. Be in your bubble, be in your bubble, say hi. People are giving you nastiness. Oh my gosh, I love that pink sweatshirt, that's so cute. And if they get, cool, awesome.
Jessica
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
chryssie
I'm so ready. I'm stoked for this audition. Do you know this choreographer? I'm nervous. Are they nice? Yeah, but like why can't you have these conversations with people rather than the same old same old y'all? It has not changed since I was 10 years old where you walk into a room into a dance studio And you look around and you kind of get quiet and you just stretch and you stay in your own zone so
Jessica
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
chryssie
I think my calling on this earth for me and this body and this mind is to actually connect people through the arts and free themselves up with their brains. I care more about that than when you walk out of the room that you feel free rather than you felt like you nailed a combination. Right? So, right? So then you just come and you dance and you get some of it, you don't get some of it, you know?
Jessica
Hmm. Totally. I'm on the same page.
chryssie
Easier said than done. Easier said than coming from a place of like, having had a career and have lived through the ups and downs of it. But I feel I'm really right where I need to be when I am…with, dancing with, teaching with, guiding with, others. Yeah, so it's just been an interesting journey for sure. Especially the teaching journey, yeah.
Jessica
So can we rewind a bit and can you tell us how you started off dancing period and then will eventually evolve into all the other beautiful stuff?
chryssie
Yeah, yeah. Oh, it's so funny, the longer you live, the more you have to really go back. You don't expect it to be like, okay, I started dancing when I was three. I had my recitals in a roller skating rink. I'm from Columbia, South Carolina. And they would be a roller skating rink, and then they would set up a stage at the tail front, like a plywood stage. And I did tap, three, four, and five.
and I was a cat and I was a bride and I was something in red. And my dance teacher, I think it all starts in what you get. That's why being a teacher is everything. That's why honestly, with Broader Than Broadway, we're gonna do teachers training. We wanna keep cultivating, giving back beautiful hearted teachers, cause we need more. Because when I was, I had this woman who looked like Dolly Parton, but she was redhead. So she had hair out the wazoo and then she was just
Jessica
Mm-hmm.
chryssie
Bop bop bop. And she taught like clogging and tap and like her little studio that like was above in her house. Anyway, she was so smiley. She was like just like all the time. So that's all I remember is that tap was fun because she was so happy teaching us. And could you imagine? I mean, I don't wanna teach three-year-olds. Like there's a lot of people that just would not wanna teach three-year-olds, you know? I could have gotten a really rotten bunch.
Jessica
Mm. Right.
chryssie
But I didn't and so therefore it turned into jazz and then ballet. And then I went to a different studio and then I went to a ballet company when I was 10, 11, and 12 so I did the Nutcracker and I did Dracula. And again, I saw another pair of artistic director and the, not the mistress, what's it called? The something.
Jessica
Like the ballet mistress? Yeah, isn't that weird? I never even, until you said that. I feel like that's right.
chryssie
There you go, it is a mistress, Valley Mistress. It's weird. Mean either, because I thought mistress, I was like, she's not a mistress. Yeah, William Starrett and Mary Claire Miranda were the stars. And at the time when I was a baby, I'm sure they were in their 30s probably. And Mary Claire looked like Julie Roberts. And the two of them when they danced together.
was like the most joyful ballet scene as well. So I got to see like joyful people dancing. And then I laughed because it was not what I wanted to do. I probably could have gone on to do it, but fun fact, Jillian, oh my God, Jillian Butler, no, Jillian, oh my God, yes, Jillian Murphy and I were in ballet school together. I was Peter Rabbit and she played my sister for an educational thing, yeah.
Jessica
Murphy. Oh my gosh.
chryssie
And she was so kind, still is. And yeah, that's just a fun fact. And then I went to a competition studio. So I got the, I got the gamut of things. I went to Tappy, Dala Dingle, Dala Dingle Dance Studio, Ballet Studio, did the ballets for a couple of years, did Pointe. So that gave me my foundation, which I really am grateful for. And then Southern Strut Dance Studio. I was the competition dancer. I did solos and conventions and competitions and then I left at 18 and at 18 I was a rockette. So a rockette in LA and then a rockette at 19 here in New York City. And then, but after that I was like, this is not my gig. Plus they weren't getting on me about performing too much and I was just, I was standing out too much. So I was like, okay, I think this is not my gig. Although.
I watch it, it's a beautiful show, I'm enamored by the dancers doing it, it's a beautiful, beautiful thing. It wasn't my tea, it wasn't my cup of tea. And so I went to musical theater school here in New York City. And so that's what led me to AMDA. And I found a beautiful school here in the city, conservatory training, pretty hardcore, I had no idea what it was to sing, what it was to go and audition for something, I only knew dance. And I learned a lot. And then I… Sorry, I'm just barreling through, but then I left right after that and did Fosse, the national tour of Fosse. And so I turned 21 on the tour with Mr. Lloyd Colbriss and we went to Japan and that's where I met my bestest friend in the world, my show wife, my business wife, my show wife? Is that right? Both, yeah. I mean, she is my wife in the fact that we do PAC together.
Jessica
Maybe both? Mm-hmm.
chryssie
So I met her and we on the road, Alexis Cara. And then on the road, I was still fixated on acting in film and television and I had this bug. So I was like, I'm not going back to New York. And everybody's like, you're like, I closed the national tour with the trumpet solo. They're like, you don't wanna be in New York City. And I'm like, no, not right now. Like, no, I think I'm gonna move to LA and be an actress. And my mom was like.
Jessica
Yeah.
chryssie
all those years, all those years of dance training, and you wanna go be an actress in LA? I was like, yup, bye. So yeah, and so then, so that was, that's probably, that's the beginning of the ending of my dancing hardcore until I got chorus line.
Jessica
Mm-hmm. So how did your auditioning for the Rockettes happen from South Carolina?
chryssie
You know, it's funny. I, uh, you, we, there was touring, they were tour and travel everywhere. So I auditioned for it in Orlando and I actually auditioned for it in Orlando when I was still 17 and I got the call that actually gave me the job and I was like, like you, you're 18 though, right? And I was like, Oh no, sorry. I was just doing that as like a, a trial and they were like, Oh wow. Okay. Well, good for you. You need to, you need to.
Jessica
Okay.
chryssie
audition again next year. And I was like, okay. So I did. So yeah, my mama drove me to Orlando. So it was like about an eight hour drive from Columbia. And that was the first one. The second audition. I honestly don't know if auditioned because I'm wondering if they had me on file not remember that is that is insane I could be wrong I don't know I can't remember I remember my first audition and I remember my New York audition now that was insane and I got the job really shortly after because it was actually the last batch it was like in August and they had to have a couple more people and at that time they still had the roster do you know about the roster people could not get fired
Jessica
Mm. No.
chryssie
there were 50 year old Rockettes. But like I say that like at the time I thought 50 was so old and now I'm like, that's gonna be 50 in six years. And I look at Charlotte who's playing Roxy and killing it and Amara who plays Velma who's killing it. So anyway, but they were for a long time and they couldn't get fired. It was like a thing. And so I was one of the first of the young ones to come in. And it was just me and Erica where they were trying, where they were like.
Jessica
Mm-hmm.
chryssie
seating out the roster and a couple people got in. And it was me and Erica Reed. And it's funny how you still remember these names. And she was lovely. And then, and I got it and then I did it. And that was cool. I mean, I mean, dancing at Radio City is just, it's cool. It's really neat. I mean, it's an old historical building. And to be a part of that is really an honor. So I don't take it lightly.
Jessica
Mm-hmm. Was Fosse just an audition that came up?
chryssie
Mm-hmm. So how I met Fosse, how I got Fosse was basically, they had an open casting call, and I went to it when I was in college during Staten Island at Wagner, and Anne Reinking was giving them.
the audition, which was incredible. So I had like two or three cuts that day and I made them through all. And then like a couple of weeks later, I got offered the job and I couldn't take it for another year because I was on Broadway, not on Broadway, I was at AMDA going to school and I wanted to finish it. And then they did. And then I got on the first national tour with my equity card, turned 21 on the tour with Mr. Lloyd Colbrough, so appreciative of that. And...
Yeah, and I did it for a year and I toured with Japan. I met my best friend Alexis Carra on the road and Leme Caparis and some beautiful people on that show. So I learned a lot and I owe a lot of what I do and how I do my work through what I learned doing that vocabulary. It is so special, all the different. And it's a swing, you get to do so many things. So it's, in fact, the opening number of Fosse is the opening number.
of, oh no it's not, so funny, but it's in there. So Bye Blackbird, I sing Bye Blackbird in my show in the little corner. And so that came from that love and that nostalgia from being, well it's Life is a Bowl of Cherries and then it goes into Bye Blackbird. So it really is the opening, yeah.
Jessica
Yeah, that's incredible. So you say you got the acting bug. When did you get it? What did it feel like? And what do you do about it?
chryssie
Good questions, Jess, so when did I get the acting bug? I've always been kind of enamored when I was a kid. I was enamored by White Christmas and I wanted movie musicals to come back because I wanted to be the next Vera Allen. And I'm sure me along with 10 million other dancers, right? So I think I got the acting bag a little bit by watching her even though it was so old school, but I just loved it. And then...That's a great question. When did I get that? Oh, when I dance, it's always about the lyrics and the storytelling for me. So when I was older, I did my solos to On My Own, Lea Salonga's version of On My Own, but then I wore the trench coat and the beret, but then I peeled off the thing. Yeah, I peeled off the trench coat and I'm wearing a white Victoria's Secret negligee where I feel...
Jessica
Hmm. Ah, classic.
chryssie
pretty inside, even though on the outside I feel ugly and no one wants me. So when I was doing that kind of work, like my senior year, somebody said it to me. It was a judge that watched me in my competitions and watched how I performed and was like, you, have you ever thought about acting? And I was like, ah, I was like, yeah. I mean, I've done a little bit in theater and stuff. And he's like, you just dance with so much emotion. So I think that by someone seeing it in me.
Jessica
Mm.
chryssie
And then when I went out to LA, I really wanted to try it. Like I was like, okay, Chrissy, all right, Chrissy Whitehead, I'm gonna give you three years to dabble into everything. Like, you just saved up some money from Fosse, now you move into LA, let's go. So I was submerged in all the commercial classes, the acting classes, was not submersing in the dance classes, but still working as a dancer for a little bit.
And oh, I know when I got the bug. I'll tell you when for sure. So I did that. I get my sag after card because I booked save the last dance, which is Julia Stiles' dance double in the movie. Do you remember that movie? Yeah, so that's me at the end of the movie, which is, I mean, weird and cut really weird and you can tell when it's her or you can tell when it's a double.
Jessica
Hmm. Oh wow. Yeah.
chryssie
And I was on set for three weeks. I've always been curious, Jessica. I'm curious, curious. And I'm like, why is a dancer not playing this part? She's a dancer going just like, she has to have, she had to have two different dance doubles. And I was like, I don't understand. So I started watching, I was like, what does she have? What is she doing? And what happens on set? And I watched and I watched and I watched and I was like.
So it was more like I wanted to be the girl that people would hire that could do it all. It was really the first impetus. And I wanted to know how could I be as honest as possible? I was obsessed with being the most honest actor out there. I did not like shmami shmami. I mean, I've only loved a chorus line because of chorus line and I did it when I was 14 years old. I was like, whoa, wait a minute, what is this? This is about people's stories, this is about people's lives. This is so cool. And I loved it.
Jessica
Mm-hmm.
chryssie
I have not a fan of like, I mean, you did Fiddler, right? It's not, that's a beautiful show, right? That has heart and meaning and not that there isn't, but there is a lot of stuff out there right now that is just hard to find, yeah, hard to find that heart. Although, you know what's funny is like, I always love a solution, so I'm like, get me in there. Let me work with those actors and singers and I bet you I could help them actually make this fluff.
actually turn into something that people actually, that was an interesting performance, you know? I'm kind of notorious for, not notorious, but the three big shows I've done are revivals. So I've done something different. I believe I've kept the truth in everything that I've done in the revivals, which is why I got cast in all of them. So it was Company, Chicago, of course, I'm all New York theater shows.
Jessica
Mm-hmm.
chryssie
So I don't know where I got on a tangent on that, but it was the acting bug. So yeah, it's just like you wanted, I was like, well, how honest could I get? And then I knew I wanted Broadway. So I was like literally in a major acting class for like a year and a half, but I was this like major dancer who was only training and acting.
And so then that's right after that's when I got, because of the bug for all of that and training and training and training. And I did that for three years and I still, in three years I did like 12 short films, one TV show with four different episodes with five in underlines as a dancer. And I was like, do I still like this? Do I wanna keep going? Do I think that I could do this? You know, cause I do like to be realistic. I can't, I can't do the whole like.
I'm out here for 10 years and I have gotten one commercial. You know what I mean? It's like, I can't do that. I have to go, wait a minute, I'm a dancer. And that's what kept pulling me was like, Christy, don't forget, you dance, right? This is where it all began. So you could go back to New York and go get in an ensemble of a show. I'm pretty sure of it at the time. Now I think it's even more competitive, but I was pretty confident,
Jessica
Yeah.
chryssie
But even then, it wasn't like it happens like that. It takes time. And then it doesn't. And then it takes time. And then it doesn't. Our business is just weird. It's weird.
Jessica
Mm-hmm.
Jessica
Yeah. Wait, so when, so, so LA, those opportunities happen, you come back to New York for Chorus Line at that time? And how did that all, ooh, there's a lot there.
Holy! I have and I didn't put it together until yesterday that I wrote. Yeah, I was like and also with Grey's Anatomy which I am such a Grey's Anatomy nerd and then I was looking at that and I remember that episode. I mean I remember a lot of the episodes but that's not nothing. That's not some little thing. That was a significant episode so we have to get into that too like must. Okay
chryssie
Have you seen every little step? Yeah? That is me. Yes. I know it's the thing that everybody like holds onto, which I'm like, great, keeps me alive, I'll take it. So chorus line happened, I was in LA. I auditioned for it in LA with Jay. They came to LA and they had done, you know, like the documentary says, they were on a rounds, you know? So it was like 3000 people and I knew that. So I was like, they are making their way, they'll get here, it's gonna take some time. That went great. And afterwards they're like, Chrissy.
see you in New York." And I'm like, great. And they're like, who do you see me as? Christine. I was like...
rate because I had worked so hard on my voice and then they want to hear the sweet sincere ballad and then I like didn't know what to sing because I don't sing those songs at that time and then I went to my Rolodex at AMDA and I remembered this beautiful actress friend of my Naomi who got assigned that song and she was so like lovely and I was like that was lovely and it made me remember her and I was like well
That's a lovely song, so I just picked that. And then I came back to New York, one call, and then you had to like take, talk about our lives as performers. Like I literally was a hostess and a teacher at AMDA, and I had to take a whole week off of work because Monday was the, as you would know probably, like an invited, the final invited callback. So this is the callback from LA.
to meet the creative team that you saw in every little step that was watching, okay? In that studio, that was my final callback before the final, but if you didn't make that, you would, I had this whole week, my ticket wasn't until the next, you know what I mean? But the next Monday, a whole week later, it was the final callbacks, like on a stage. And it was awesome, I mean, it really was.
Jessica
Mm-hmm.
chryssie
I was having the time of my life auditioning for the Broadway show of the show that made me wanna do musical theater. So I did not, I'd also been already disappointed. I was down to the end for All Shook Up that was supposed to go to Broadway. I was bought out. So I thought that was gonna be my debut. I had auditioned with Alexis for Sweet Charity, with Wayne Salento, I went to the final callbacks, I got cut. So, you know, it's disappointment, right? You hear the highlights, the highlights are great, but there's tons of disappointment.
Jessica
Mm-hmm.
chryssie
And so I didn't get it. And then, so I was keeping it. I was proud of myself. I was keeping it pretty. I wanted it, but I also was just trying not to let myself get too involved because I had already gotten involved in other shows. So I was 26, 27. And then I got it. Oh, no, no. Then I had to go back and then they were like, Chrissy, can you come back in again with Tony? And I said, I just landed in LA. They were like, oh.
Jessica
Mm-hmm.
chryssie
Hold on. So everybody was getting calls but me and Deidre. So what you're seeing on Every Little Step is actually my re-flying back to get this job. They looped it in with the final callbacks but it wasn't. They brought in the other girl later because they were nervous. Because what they did, that's another thing they did to us. I just met Tony at lunch. So I was like, hi Tony, nice to meet you, blah, blah.
Then right at the last minute, I didn't know he was the only one there for Tony. Nobody knew, right? He was the only one there for Al. Like they knew hands down, they were gonna hire him already. He was just there for, you know. And basically they go, Chrissy, hey, you're up in like one. But here's Tony, you're gonna do it with him actually. You're gonna do it with him. And I was like, oh, not with a reader, like we've been doing it, nope.
So I said, oh my God, and I looked at him and I said, Tony, this will be interesting. I was like, I'd do this shot out of a cannon. I was like, you're probably, and he's never even looked at it. So he literally was like, oh, me? Lessons. You know, like he just not following as well in the first take, because he hadn't read it.
And that made them nervous. They said, thank you so much. Can you come back in three weeks? So then I knew they're gonna start looking for more Christine's. But then J. Binder, rest his soul. He is no longer, he passed away. But he was really loving and I love seeing him in the documentary… Binder really rooted for me. He called me up and he said, Chrissy, they love you. You are so close to getting this part. They got scared because they put you all together and the chemistry wasn't really as on. He was like, you're gonna do a workshop with me before you go back on the stage again and I'm only doing it with you. Like he didn't do it with anybody else. Like he just did it for us. And that's why he gets so like teary eyed because he's...
He gets so involved, you know, and I had seen Bender a long time coming into calls. And I don't know who it is nowadays, but Bender was one of the main ones who looked out, who loved his actors, you know, and so it's rare. And yeah, so it was, it was beautiful. And I got it with the cameras on me, which, you know, we all know. Nobody, nobody tells you, no director or no casting director tells you in the moment that you got the job.
Doesn't happen, you get a call from your agent. Which most of everybody in the documentary gets calls from their agents. I'm just the one that they knew I had flown back for it. And then he said, we couldn't let you go. So if you go back and watch it again, he'll say we couldn't let you go without telling you first, congratulations. And I was like, oh my God. And then being able to tell my mom was incredible. And having that caught on camera, I don't have a lot of videos of my mother, she's passed away. And so.
Jessica
Hmm.
chryssie
hearing her scream like that, that I get to hear over and over again because it's in my show. So anyway, of course I was a dream come true. Was I lucky? Absolutely. Do I have talent? Absolutely. Are there other people out there that have talent? Absolutely. Could it have been anybody else but me? Yes. And so that is where I don't think a lot of when I see my actors and artists that I coach.
There's this sense of, it's so right for me. This role is so right for me. Do you know how many people are saying that? So it's just a matter of you putting in your whole effort to that role and to that time, and then you just gotta let it be. Because it's not yours, it's not mine. I happen to be Bob Avian's choice.
Jessica
Hmm.
chryssie
But if Jessica, if you were directing it, maybe you would have chosen something completely different. And that is the reality of our business. And sometimes that's a hard pill to swallow because we all take it so seriously.
Jessica
Mm-hmm.
chryssie
I think there's a lot of luck in this world. I think you have to work hard and there's a lot of luck.
And you have to like be proud of the work you're doing for yourself and your art. And if you're not doing that and you're just doing it for others and for, I mean this is what gets taxing to me, I think. Do you wanna pay me to do the job? Do you, oh, you don't, okay. Would you like to pay me to do this job? No? Okay. Do you wanna pay me? Oh, you do? Oh my God.
Awesome, thank you so much. Oh, you don't anymore? Oh, I was just immediate replac- oh. And that is why they say thick skin. And honestly, anybody listening and hearing this, anybody?
We all have to know that we did it, whatever that means. Not that we nailed it, not that we booked every job, but that we actually did it. You were like, I've been here for 10 years in New York City and I don't know where you are in your journey for that, but you could be like, and all in my 10 years in an X, Y, and Z, I have put my heart out there. I feel really good about this.
I hated that happened, but this led me to this, and this led me to this, and now I'm choosing this right now. But I think we all have to know, I just really do believe in no regrets, because everything happens for a reason. Not, no, I don't like that either, but no regrets, meaning like,
I Chrissy Whitehead would be shooting myself in the foot if I stayed in Columbia, South Carolina and I didn't go after my dreams of Los Angeles and New York and had no idea where it was going to take me. I didn't know how much denial and rejection I would get. I didn't know how much success I would get. But I would be like, live it. And that's how I'm able to give now. Because I can honestly say, like, I don't have the desire to do an eight-show a week schedule.
Jessica
Right.
chryssie
And that's my power. And I love seeing my friends and my people who are doing that and killing it. And that's what makes them happy. We all have our own paths. So I think that no one is right or wrong. It's just a choice.
Jessica
Mm-hmm.
chryssie
I was gonna say Broadway is hard. I was gonna say eight shows a week is hard. And it's exhilarating. You know, you're like, pinch me. My job is to entertain the masses, eight shows a week?
Who does that? And then on the other hand, you're like, I'm so tired. I just lost my manager and they're telling me that I have to get on the stage and dance for two more performances. My manager just died and I'm crying in the stage manager's office and they're telling me. You know what I mean? So.
yin and yang all the time. Where there's some poopy parts about it, there's some absolute excellent parts about it. The best part of the business for me is not the praise. It's not the, oh my God, you're so talented. Oh my God, you're so good. It's, oh my God, I have an amazing, beautiful, chosen family of friends from the work that I've done.
Jessica
Mm-hmm.
chryssie
that I spend time with. Who cares about the applause? I mean, thank you for the applause. And who are your friends? Because I gotta say, New York, I was lonely. I didn't have a partner. I was doing my Broadway debut. I was seeing all the fans outside, people freaking out. Every night, signing autographs. Do you see? You're amazing. La!
Oh my God, you're welcome. Oh, thank you, oh, thank you, oh, thank you, oh, thank you. Last person, quiet. Walk back to your apartment. So if this is what you're living for, this, they are not with you. You've affected them, but they're not with you. So that's the stuff that it's like, it can get gnarly, it can get deep.
I like to be the good with the bad.
chryssie
Managing expectations, right?
Jessica
Mm-hmm.
chryssie
It's not all fluff. You still have to deliver and deliver.
Jessica
Yeah, at the end of the day.
It's a job. It can be extremely fulfilling. It can light you on fire in the most beautiful ways. And then you go home to your apartment. That's the perfect way to put it. When you walk into that building, it's not a perfect bubble. Life still is happening. You are still there with yourself. You're dealing with all these personalities around you. Maybe something's gone wrong.
chryssie
Yes.
Jessica
there are just infinite things that could be happening and if we're not
Jessica
It's a recipe for disaster to believe that once you get a certain job, you're going to be okay. You're going to be happy. All of that pain, all of that turmoil is going to just vanish because you're in the job of your dreams. And in fact, if you haven't paid attention to what's going on with yourself and what's going on in your brain, in your mind, in your body, then you're going to show up to that dream job.
actually not be able to enjoy it at all because guess what you showed up and it didn't have this magic spell cast over you for with goodness and joy that you wanted it to so actually you're doing yourself a disservice by pushing off the care for yourself and they're trying to create a life that's actually fulfilling as a whole because then you're going to show up to that dream and it's going to be crushing because it's not going to be what you thought it was
because you're not there to witness it and be there for it.
chryssie
beautiful I try to I that's exactly it I mean I it is a it is a recipe for disaster and people don't understand because what you're seeing as an audience member when you go to a Broadway show and you see the lights the you see as an audience member even though you're a performer you're like ah like you know I saw Heidi's town and I was like I've seen it like three times and I'm like how did they do this is
Jessica
Mm-hmm.
chryssie
So good. And I even look at my dramaturg, because my dramaturg is actually the dramaturg for Hadestown, which freaked me out at first when I found this out before our first meeting. Because I was like, oh, I don't want a Broadway guy. I don't know what to do. No. But it was a connection that he had with my producer, my lead producer and arts angel, Mission Mover. But anyway, I see Hadestown. I'm like.
And then, you know, the immediate, sometimes a thought comes to my head, I was like.
do that. Like see you like get into like a and I will and I will do this. I'll go I could do that. I can totally I can I can rock that Persephone role. Like I really think I could. Like I was so inspired by Amber Grey and her I mean her brilliance. That was it was
Jessica
Ugh.
Jessica
I just talked about her. We just talked about her in the podcast I did right before filming yours. Double whammy.
chryssie
I want to meet her, but I get this when people get like this about people. There's something about it, because I'm like, you know what? She's still a person, right? I don't know her. When you witness people's talent on stage, it is magical. So there you go, right? We are sucked into people and people have, you know, people can get sucked into people's performances. What I loved about her.
her willingness to be dangerous and yet it was still under control, but I had no idea what she was going to do on that stage. And I was like, Oh, and when I see brilliance, I love excellence, right? So some of us really, we love excellence. When I see that, I'm like, she just gave me so much for her permission that if I was still in the business, I would absolutely come in and have a field day with this role, you know,
Jessica
Mm-hmm.
chryssie
And do I really want to do eight shows a week? No, I'm enraptured in, I don't want to do it. In fact, if anybody called me, I'd probably most likely definitely say no. Unless it's a musical where I'm not having to like, like that's a lot of energy as well. You know what I mean? Like playing Persephone is a lot, you know? She's drinking, she's just everything. So.
Jessica
Right. Mm-hmm.
chryssie
My point is that we can get excited about it, but I think there's a place now I can witness that and go, oh, okay, that's cool. I mean, witness the brilliance of, you know, and then of course, I'm very picky. I'm like, I don't think anybody else could do it. You know, like, I'm just like, not, not like that. So I, my point is, is that we can get, we can get caught up and swept up in these shows and these performances that we think, oh, I have to do that.
like Fosse, I was swept up. Fosse, Shannon Lewis, I'm gonna be like her. That's it. And then we subscribe to it. And then I do it. I get to do it, which I'm lucky, because I get to do it. But I will say, I was one of the best dancers around. And I say that because I was a competitor, I did all the things, like at the time, people knew who I was already when I was in high school, and it really...
messed with me because I competed with myself. I didn't, I just wanted to get better. And then I could get lost in dance. Dance became like my best friend. Like it was like we were always together. And so when I was this like really strong dancer, I had a lot of confidence that comes with that. Right? You know? And
There's a confidence to being really good. Not an arrogance, confidence. I think arrogance and non-humility started coming when things started coming my way.
when I started getting things. And then I started thinking, oh, I deserve this.
Not I oh I'm receiving this. Thank you.
And I think that's what happens with our business too. I mean, because it's so competitive in the sense that there's a, I think competitive in the sense that there's so many dancers out there. And how do you set yourself apart?
But the only way I would say about how you set yourself apart, I really hate that question.
I think it's about just literally, how do you be the one, when you're having a party, I'm gonna quote Tice on this one, when you're having your own party in a dance class, when you are, not the self-indulgent kick that we are on right now, good God Almighty. I mean, I don't know about you, but if I see another thing that's like, you know, and just like.
chryssie
I don't get it because I'm like, okay, that's, okay, I'm judging it right now, but that is for, what's the word? That's for a certain thing, right? And when we have this always in our head, in our phone, it's like, where is the humility? Where is the, and that is hard to do in our business. It is hard to do because everybody's like,
clawing and I understand. So I don't know if these are just open ended questions. I get it. I get that there's some cool moments and there's some moments that work out but then.
It's never been my cup of tea. So never been my cup of tea.
Jessica
So you said that maybe the arrogance built a little bit for you with roles starting to come. How did you navigate that feeling and come back to humility?
chryssie
Mmm. I mean, I was always, I look back on what I don't like about the business is how deeply insecure I was until insecure I was about the acting and singing part. I never was insecure about my dancing. Then when the acting work started coming, like Grey's Anatomy and stuff like that, that gave me a pop of like, look, somebody does want me. Somebody will pay me good money to do a guest star and work on the set for four days on a hit TV show.
I think you navigated through, I had my mom at the time, I had my mentor at the time, so I would reach out. I mean, I had people telling me that they thought I was gonna get nominated for a Tony when I was doing Chorus Line. And at first I was like, oh my gosh. Oh my gosh, thank you. Next person, next day. You, you, Tony. I'm like, oh my God, thank you, thank you.
You, you, oh really? Thank you so much, thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you, thank you. You know, and I'm like, called up my mentor, I'm like, everybody, people are telling me this. I'm like, do we need to be thinking that I'm gonna get nominated for a Tony and what are we gonna do about this? She was like, Chrissy, it's just people's opinions and you just take it with a grain of salt, you definitely say thank you, you definitely, blah, but you, I was like, okay, but that was still very hard.
chryssie
I just feel like it was always never enough, Jessica. Like I just, and I think that is the trap for our business.
Jessica
Mm-hmm.
chryssie
You know, in a span from 2010, 11, and 12, I was doing at least one or two, maybe three guest stars, or my first big film as a lead with Raven-Symoné was Revenge of the Bridesmaids. And so I shot that in New Orleans, and then I had maybe a guest star or two that year, and then I had a regional gig, so I did like Cats, and then I played Cassie in a co-host line. So I'm literally doing my life, right?
And all I'm concerned about is if I will, this will lead to me getting a series regular on a television show.
Jessica
Mm.
chryssie
And then...
you start watching how things go and you're like, this is all a lottery ticket, especially for film and TV. Oh my God. Doesn't matter how talented you are, you know. Theater, we gotta have the chops, you know. TV and film, no. I mean, yes, there are talented people working and there's untalented people working. We see it every day. But, so then you're like, well, where do I fit in? I've just worked all this time, da da. And then my mom died. So she died in 2013.
She committed a slow suicide and died January 8th, 2013. And when she died, I felt like I was doing a lot of all of that for my mom.
I mean, my mom used to tell me really bizarre things. I mean, I'm just an open book, so it is what it is. People can judge me or what, I don't care. But my mom basically said, "'Chrissy, you're gonna be famous like Meryl Streep.'" I mean, my mother says this to me. And I'm like, mom, no, I mean it, I feel it. It's gonna happen when it's later. I was like, mama, I love you. You don't know that. And like, you know, so.
She wasn’t also all well in her brain. She didn't take care of her brain. And she didn't take care of her mental health, and she was addicted to painkillers by the end, and had a lot of secrets, and a lot of things she kept in, and it made her sick, and she died. And that is why I've chosen to write this show. So, when she left, I navigated a whole different ballgame. I said, I'm out. I'm out, I'm out.
chryssie
I did not want it. Plus I was super depressed. I didn't know what to do. I was the one woman, the one woman in my life who...
took me everywhere, took me to all the dance classes, made me believe that I could do anything, helped me set up myself. I've been done very well with myself as a business. I don't know about how I've done so well with my love life, although I am still married and things are good right now. But I did not get taught a lot of stuff other than how to take care of myself business-wise, but not take care of myself to take care of others and that kind of thing. So that's been a later in life kind of thing.
Jessica
Hmm.
chryssie
When she died, I left LA and moved to Seattle. And that's where I had done Lola and Damien Kies and Cassie and A Chorus Line, and they were really receptive to me. And they gave me some work as an associate director choreographer and then as a choreographer at Fifth Avenue Theater. And so they gave me a chance and I still could not shake it, but I did get on an antidepressant then. And...
It really lifted me out of the clouds because I was, um, I didn't want to teach, talk, be with people, be on stage. I had lost it. I didn't know how to get out of it. And I was grateful. I found a doctor and I was able to get on an Antidepressant and for two years, that's what I was on and I moved back to New York in 2015.
And yeah, like in the fall. And then that fall I was feeling better. And then that Christmas is when I met my husband and he moved with me to New York. So we've been on a journey since 2016 together. So I guess that's how I've navigated it. You know, I stay in therapy. We have a couples counselor right now.
I really believe in it. I've been in therapy off and on since I was 25. I'm on the hunt again for a new one.
chryssie
I have learned so much about myself and in the interim I found out that I have bipolar 2 disorder and I got diagnosed with that and changed medication and that has been a tremendous blessing. It's been a gift to learn and investigate and go ah, ooh, huh, and to stabilize my mood swings because you know, our business doesn't help either.
Jessica
Mm-hmm.
chryssie
I've been away from the business since I did Chicago in 2017 for a year. And I understood Velma, like I said before, and that was great. And that was beautiful because I got to do something that I really loved. And I got to do it once. And then I just, it was time to go. I was like, I don't want to, I just.
I don't have to do this. I can do other things. I love teaching. I love it. And yeah, so it's been a journey. It's been a journey and I haven't performed up until this last six months.
Jessica
Thank you for sharing all of that. And when did you start writing your show? How did the idea come about? All of that, all of it. It's like, where do you even begin? Ha ha ha.
chryssie
Yeah, I got it. So you already began. Yeah. I was separated and still very bashful about talking about bipolar. I didn't know, I was so scared that people would treat me differently or not hire me or anything like that. So I didn't talk about it for like three years. I was diagnosed in 2018. This is 2021. And then there was a woman that I have known who flew me to Kenya, put me, you know, paid for me to teach three weeks of Broadway arts community workshops in the slums.
schools and the huts, like, incredible experience. She and I were talking on the phone and we'd known each other for years and she gives money to BAC and she's just a beautiful philanthropist. I call her my arts angel. I had started writing my story, you know, in a class. I finished college and at 35 I graduated finally with a BA in performing arts and one of my classes was a writing class and I could do a memoir.
So I did about 60 pages of my memoir. I also found out some pretty traumatic stuff when I was 29 that my dad was not my real dad and the lessons along the way with that and that's in my show because the trauma of that really, like your age, finding out that your dad was not your real dad that you grew up with, even though your dad is your dad because that's who you grew up with. So I was finding out you were adopted. So, but there's also more to it that explains why my mother's health was so bad.
So I was writing about it, right? And I was opening up to her about my having bipolar two disorder and she was so sweet with me and I was also separated at the time with my husband and she was like, well, what do you, is there anything, have you written about this at all? And I was like, I have, but she's like, would you ever consider something different? And I was like, I thought about a one woman show, but who's gonna come see a show around mental health? I was like, I don't know. And she was like, well, why don't you?
So I think it's important for audiences to hear is that I didn't come to some person with money and say to them, I have a show that I've written. Would you that is one way to do it, right? That's not how it happened for us organically. She basically was like, why don't you send me what you need? Like tell me like a line item of like what and I was like Kirsten this would have to be done. Right. Like I would have to hire my best friend and this other awesome man as a music director. Like and I can't just say hey, let's just hop into a dance studio and like come up.
So she said, okay. And so that first year in 2022, we did two readings and we had a final show. And I mapped it out for the whole year because I knew I needed a whole nine months. Like, am I really gonna do this? Am I really gonna tell my mom secrets? Am I really gonna, you know? And then the second reading, right before that one, Ken Traniglia, who is the dramaturg for Hadestown, she knew Kirsten Rinkle, who's my lead co-producer.
who we both now own in my own little corner productions, he came in the second reading before it, started working with me. He works pro bono. I mean, it's just unbelievable. And when I say pro bono, he doesn't just like drop a seed here and there every now and then. He is so invested. He is this big part of this family, and also has really helped us streamline it. So that's what we did. 2022, he came on board, and then we did a Riverside Theater performance in November. People were really moved. We had a talk back after the show, so now it's turned into an hour show, 30-minute discussion. Then we kind of meet people in the lobby.
continue the conversation so that it doesn't feel like we're dumping this information and then leaving. My show really is two hours, even though it's an hour on the stage and it's an hour with people. And I love it. And it's really giving back. And Jessica, I could send it to you if you want it to see it. I mean, it's an archival footage. We just did one in LA, so I'm happy to. It's unlisted, so I just pass it on because we're going to film it. So we have had eight.
Jessica
love to.
Jessica
Yay!
chryssie
Yeah, so we ended up getting, so 2023, we ended up getting, booking eight cities for the 23, 24 season. So we are on city number seven, no, six. We booked eight, but now we have seven. So we're booked, city number seven is Tampa, and then we have Oshkosh, Wisconsin. And then we just were in Torrance, this past weekend, and we are gonna film it for live capture to sell to streaming services. So.
Jessica
Wow.
chryssie
We're really excited. It's got a lot going on. I mean, it's in, and the message is really to normalize conversations around mental health. Like how are we taking care of our brains? No matter if you have a diagnosis or not, like I have learned so much about bipolar. I have a coach now with bipolar disorder that wrote the, I mean, it's insane. The book that inspired me to do this, the author of this book, it's an illustrated memoir. It's called marbles. I am now coaching with this woman. And
because I went back to her after a couple years. I mean, she's given me the okay, and I met her on Zoom and all that stuff, but then we just had a coaching session where I can talk to someone who has bipolar, and then I can give her some of my goals, and she was like, you really need to get back into seeing a therapist. Can we get that on the books, till I see you next month? And she's like, there's also, she goes, you know about the NAMI support groups? And I was like, yes, I do. NAMI is National Alliance of Mental Illness. So if anybody's watching this, there's so many different resources there.
There's also so many different resources on our website at imolctheshow.com. This is a cute little hoodie even though I usually have in my little corner the show. But each life has its place as the last line of my show. And like we all have a place and we all have a little bit of a thing here and there but sometimes here's something to share with you.
We have takeaway cards that we ask the audience to do anonymously before they leave after the show, just because it kind of helps me to keep going on what we're doing. Sorry, as I walked away. But.
chryssie
and there's all these like cards. But this one kind of really stuck to a lot of us. And I think that anything that we have also could also be a little bit of your superpower. I really do.
Jessica
Sometimes it's a gift, sometimes it's something to investigate further about.
chryssie
Right? Like, sometimes my bipolar is a gift. Like sometimes it's fun. I'm creative, I like, ah! You know, I get things done, I've got this energy that is now, I take medicine and everything's kind of like as best as we can, no one's perfect. I say this, this is not about being perfect, it's a work in progress. The title of my show is In My Own Little Corner, A Work in Progress with Bipolar Disorder. So it's not about like, you know. And I think that like that to me is.
It's a show for people. It's not for me coming back and saying, mom always told me that like really the reason why we're all here, she thinks is to give back. So it was always that for me to give back, to give back. That was the answer. So I'm like, if I can get this filmed, because it's very hard to sell. It is not the easiest to sell. People are not buying tickets to come see a mental health show, which is also the stigma, right?
Jessica
Mm-hmm.
chryssie
And so that's why I'm like, well, if I can know that I could put it out there and it can live on, you know, it's like having a book, but book was just not my medium. So it's wonderful. Nick Wilders is my music director and Brian Nolton is my director and choreographer. I do get to dance in the show a little bit. I get to go back to my childhood. I show that video that I'm telling you about of on my own and dancing to that.
when I was 16, 17. And it's an homage to my mother. And then it's also a wake up call because she's so...
chryssie
she didn't take care of it, you know? And I almost didn't either, so I figured I can't end up like my mom, unfortunately, you know? So, but yeah, it's been a beautiful thing. My life now is really working for myself and I'm super grateful for that, you know? Takes time and it takes a whole lot of effort, but yeah.
My life is the show and people are calling it a shared experience. So that's kind of cool.
Jessica
Can you talk more about what goes into making, building a show from absolute scratch and from your story nonetheless?
chryssie
Mm-hmm. I really felt like something took over me and I just surrendered to it. I do not remember writing all this. I just remember being on like a, and maybe that's the BP, I'm not quite sure, but I literally was on like a train. And even in the editing when I would get the edits from, or the suggestions from Ken, it was just like this flow.
Because I felt like I was like, because I wasn't thinking about what this could do for me, I needed to get it out.
And then I thought, if I get this out, the only way I'm doing this is I want the masses to experience it so maybe they will create some ripple effects of change. Because if a woman can stand up on a stage and sing, dance, and act about her mother's secrets, finding about her biological father in a way that is not great, that is a way that's inappropriate sexual behavior, it's not great. And talk about sharing that.
the difference between bipolar one and bipolar two and how I've been diagnosed with bipolar two and the care box that I have figured out for myself that continues to evolve. Maybe somebody in the audience, I can only imagine someone like me watching a show, like watching Chrissy Whitehead, whoever that person is, may not mean a thing to me, but I'm watching this woman on stage and I'm like, I just got diagnosed.
Okay, if that girl can go through it... I'm gonna have to figure this out. You know what I mean?
We all aren't gonna be here forever. We all know that, but we don't live our lives like that. And to me, that's how I feel. It's like I wanna get this up and out there before I go. I don't want any freak accidents to happen. I don't want anything to happen. So that is something that I do think that's way more important than anything. And I'll tell you the best part of it all is the family we've created around this show.
Jessica
Mm-hmm.
chryssie
It's the community again. I have the most beautiful people that I have entrusted and I foster and harness and I'm leading the ship you know with everybody and it is beautiful. We have a family thread that's hysterical and funny and loving and you know what's cool about it? We have the youngest is 21 years old and she's almost gonna be 22. She's our production stage manager. And then all the way up until I think the oldest is like 58.
And we have 21, 25, 26, 31, 34, you know, 44, 45, you know, and I'm like all the different perspectives in our one sweet show that we all believe in. We've all watched it. We've all said this is what we want to be a part of the mission of talking about mental health and it'd be okay.
Jessica
That is so beautiful. I feel that I resonate with that so much because I write every single day. I've written every day for 10 years. I have all of these stories, essays, poems, songs, everything that has built up. And what I've said so many times is that it feels like, and I actually, I sent out my newsletter about it this morning, so it's interesting that we're talking about it, about how it feels like it can just be
chryssie
Yes. Yes. Great, yes.
Jessica
trapped within me and it's different than saying I want to write a book, I want to write a TV show. It's saying there is a TV show in me, there is a book in me that wants to come out and I feel like I am harming myself. It seriously impacts my health too by not putting it out there and that feels wild to say, but when you're saying that you don't remember...
chryssie
Inside you. Yes. Why not?
Jessica
I don't remember writing like anything that I, besides my morning pages or journaling or something like that, that's more of a diary entry, but anything that I'm writing, anything that I've sent out in a newsletter, whatever it is, that is not me. I don't know where it comes from, but it's not me. That's just, yeah, it comes out. So I really hear you on that. And I'm so inspired by that because I've also thought, what can I...
chryssie
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You just, it flows.
Jessica
do with all of this stuff? And is this my way of getting back into performing, which I am so afraid to reenter? I mean, the main part of the story is being disconnected from my body and from performing and dance and all these things. So it's interesting because on one level writing it has been so therapeutic because I can process it and I see things in stories.
chryssie
Mmm.
Jessica
But the other part of it is can I really truly heal and move through this experience without going into the performance of it? Like I feel like I'm dodging it. I'm trying to get at it from any other angle than actually the angle that will probably be the only way to possibly truly heal.
chryssie
I mean, you have to listen to listen to yourself right now, you know, because.
Jessica
Ha ha. Mm-hmm.
chryssie
I wasn't planning on performing. I'm still not planning on performing. I'm actually looking forward to it so that I can lay the baby to rest. Because I have been putting it out there. But let me tell you, it was, beginning was very hard. Nervous, nervous, nervous. I had 35 pages of dialogue. Like, it's all mine, you know. I mean, the first show was on an iPad because I was like, y'all, team.
Jessica
Mm-hmm.
chryssie
And that's when I think we, I think that's when Ken changed it. He changed the title to my work in progress so that people could understand this is a work in progress tonight when I, and I do an opening conversation to people. You know, I just think when you manage people's expectations in the beginning, it kind of, you'll never know where you can, it helps people to go on the ride with you. So whatever this looks like or whatever it needs to be, I never knew it would go to APAP. I thought I was just going to do that one show. APAP is a conference where you can go to all these different venues and theaters.
and then they say we want your show. We set up at a booth and did all that and I was like, oh my God, are we really doing this? Are we going across the tour? Oh my God.
chryssie
Yeah, just keep listening to it. That feels right. It's the next best step, or the next step, that makes you go, you don't have to perform it, but if this could be something, maybe even start with just an outline, of like, if I wanted to put something out in the world, if I only had one more year left on the planet, and I knew that I had one year left on the planet, what would I want this next year to look like?
Jessica
Mm-hmm.
chryssie
would I really wanna know by the end of it that I've drafted a story or I drafted a musical with people or I drafted a play or I drafted a radio show. I mean, there's many different ways you could do it. People have said to me, Chrissy, this should be a movie, this should be film and TV. I said, absolutely not. I said, I will not give.
Jessica
Mm-hmm.
chryssie
I will have full control over who's my mom, who I am, and I get to play that, right? It's very, it's very testy. Like my mom is a character that anybody would wanna play as an actor because you have no idea where she's going and why she's done the things she's done, and the layers just go like this. I mean, they're just like this. And then it gets to a point where you're like, what's really necessary for people to know?
Jessica
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
chryssie
What's for the memoir? And what's, Ken would say, what's for the memoir? And what's for the mission of our show?
Jessica
Mm.
chryssie
So what's your mission? So maybe you get down to your why. You know, if any of you out there have something that you're like, Holly, I feel compelled, like I feel like I've got something inside of me, but I don't know what that is, then instead of thinking about what that is, why?
Jessica
Mm-hmm.
chryssie
Why do you even think you have something that is a what? Like, why would you even think that? Oh, because, you know, another, I'll give you another example that I would not know what to do with quite yet that's in my brain. I have been a huge fan since I was a kid of, drawn to sign language, ASL. And because it also is like dance. And also I took it when I was in,
Jessica
Mm-hmm.
chryssie
six years old and I learned a lot at my church. And then I had this other, and then I went and took, and out of nowhere it kept gnawing at me. I saw a thing that happened to be on TV and it was like building homes and it was for people of hearing impaired and they had music boombox where they could feel it. And I was like just bawling, crying, watching this and I was like, oh my God. And then I ended up, I was like, you know what? That's it, I'm gonna start taking private lessons.
So I went and got private lessons for ASL for like three times in a row. But I'd knit and follow through. And then when I came here, I had a student who is hugely into ASL. She'll probably take over the world with ASL. She's 14 years old and she inspires me so much. So I keep getting these reminders of something that I wanna do with ASL. And then now we have a nonprofit that we've created, right? And we're like, we get the sky's the limit. You can, you know.
What if the things that you're writing in these poems and these essays that you're writing are things that you can actually give to children to do? You know, I don't know what they are. They might be too old or whatever, but I mean, or high schoolers, or if you are excited about writing, when you start pairing up and collaborating with other people in that same field, then you don't feel like you're in such a vortex.
So maybe it's just like, you know, yeah, just keep thinking about what that could be. Because, and then start asking, and then why? And then just write down the why. Like why do I wanna do ASL? Well why, I really feel like it's the most beautiful language that I wish we all learned because we could all, for the most part, unless we are missing some limbs in some ways, right? But it's just like.
Jessica
Yeah.
chryssie
calling of a different language. I've always been a fan of languages. So, because I think language unites us. And like babies are learning sign language now to talk to their parents. Like I've seen this, like more would be like food. And so I find that fascinating. And then it's like, so why do I find it fascinating? What could I do with ASL? Well, I could create a dance around for people with ASL. You know what I mean?
Jessica
Mm-hmm.
Jessica
Yeah.
chryssie
Maybe that should be one of our programs that we put in for broader than Broadway. You see what I mean? And then it bursts and then you go, hey Lex, you know what I mean? There's so many more ways to taking what we've done in this business. Cause I honestly believe most of us are yearning for a more deeper way of using our performing art skills for good.
I think we get to a point where we go, there's gotta be more than this. It can't just be this. Worrying about my next job, my headshots, my resume, my agent who doesn't get me out, my classes I'm not taking that I should be taking or I'd be working more. It's just like, there's gotta be a little bit more. And so, I guess we get in it with this because I do actually have to start wrapping up.
I'm not quite sure if you have another question, but I would say the holistic, no one has it all figured out. I don't have it figured out. Nobody on these podcasts have it figured out. You don't have it figured out, but we're in the inquiry. And I think in the inquiry is the most exciting place to be, right? Right, what do you think, Lucy, my little, this is my dog of 14 years. I mean, she's old.
Jessica
Oh my gosh.
chryssie
Ahahaha!
Jessica
Hi, baby! She's so cute! Look at that grey face, that white face! Yeah!
chryssie
She's so gray, she's so gray. She was tan brown. So she's also been a constant in my life, longer than my husband. I've learned how to, I've kept her alive, taking as best care of her as I can. Lord knows no parents got it all together. But I just think that the whole, the circle in your life is super important. And.
I love circles. Kirsten gave me this. It's the, I want to see it the other way, but it says each life has its place on here as well. But like, I just love circles. I just, because it's just all inclusive. I start classes with a circle as much as I can. We're all in the same wavelength. There's no leader, you know? We're just all being together. So.
I love dancers…you started out as dance first, right, you were dancer first? Yeah, so, you know, dancers first.
chryssie
I think everyone's special and I do believe that everyone's got their own gifts. And I think dancers operate on a wavelength that is just super special. To trust that and to get back into that and to harness that because it's just not everybody dances. Not everybody knows what that feels like. To like...
I like let go.
Life is too tough, right? We don't need to make it harder. I really want, I would love to see you back in class. I would love to see you in this class because just even one, just one time. And you can always come back because they're really, and we have people from into their 30s. Literally, it's 19 to like, literally like, and I'll say it in the circle, I'm like, who's 18 to like 23? They'll raise their hand.
Jessica
Yeah.
Jessica
I'll come.
chryssie
four to thirty, you know? And like tonight it's a really small class, like the smallest I've ever had, and it's like seven people. So, you know, it can be super chill. And I hope, I hope that what I have said today, I hope none of it is too blunt. Yeah.
Jessica
Not at all. I'm just gonna ask you my what my final follow question that I do. I will absolutely come to class when I'm I'll be in New York for a while in May. If you'll have any classes then. Um, okay, fantastic. But my last question is, what is your human bio so your bio that exists off of your resume?
chryssie
Yes, yes, yes.
chryssie
I have to do it, I have to schedule.
chryssie
Yes, I love that. A caring human heart who aims to be who you needed when you were younger. So like. A free spirit.
But also just, you know. Just here, just here and now. I mean, honestly, just here and now.
Because it's just here now. Human heart.
And I care a lot. I'm a deeply caring person, sometimes to fault, but you know.
Jessica
Mm-hmm. I feel that. Well, thank you so much. If you go take Chrissy's class, go follow her on all the things. I'll have it all in the show notes and support her show.
chryssie
Yeah.
chryssie
You're so welcome.
chryssie
Oh yeah, I should tell you when I'm... Yeah, I'm teaching at BDC in April and I'm teaching at STEPS. So look for me there. I'm teaching at STEPS in May. I think it's May 11th, Saturday, May 11th, which would be another perfect opportunity if it doesn't happen for you to come and be with me there in a setting that you would feel right. It would probably be really cool. And you might not wanna do that, but I'm just telling you, the best way to do it is...
Jessica
Yeah.
Jessica
No, if I'm in town I will.
chryssie
Yeah, it's a Saturday, May 11th, and then there's some April dates. I should be on the calendar at BDC as well.
Jessica
Yeah.
Jessica
Okay, I know you're rushing, but I really want to ask you one last really quick thing. Can you please just tell me a little bit about Grey's Anatomy? Just like a little...
chryssie
Yes, yes.
chryssie
Oh, yes, so much so. Okay, Grey's Anatomy. So incredible. The actual casting director went and saw me in San Francisco during previews, and I was reaching out to the casting director because I really wanted the casting director to see me, and she did come. I ended up getting it. Everybody on that episode actually works a ton. So the guys who played my husband and then the guy who played the other husband, and that girl, Amanda, with the blonde hair.
They work, they're like working actors.
Jessica
Mm-hmm.
chryssie
TR Knight was a gem, lovely, lovely human being. He's a theater person. Yes, Sandra Oh, unbelievably cool. Sada Ramirez, incredible. I didn't really talk to Meredith Gray. I think that's her character name. I don't even know what her real name is. Oh, Ellen Pompeo. I didn't talk to her. I didn't have anything with her. And then, but I was there for four days and it felt really right.
Jessica
That's so good to hear. That's what you could hope.
chryssie
I felt really at ease. I felt like, oh, I could do this. And so it was the beginning of me thinking like, this could be the beginning of my career. Now, lastly, this is what's hard when you start listening to all the reviews. The one review I got in Chorus Line in New York was that I was gonna be the next Sandra Bullock. And when I heard that, I was like, oh my God, that's exactly what I wanna be. I wanna play like her sister.
She's from Carolina. We would work to that. In fact, I even wrote her like a, in my early childhood, not early, but 23 years old thing to her production company. I'd love to play your sister. I mean, who does that? So.
That's the hardest part, right? Because you're like, oh my gosh, and then I got Grey's Anatomy. And then I'm like, oh my god, I just did, it's happening, right? Of course, and then two years go by, and I audition 200 times in two years after Gorsine and Grey's Anatomy. And I book.
Jessica
It's happening.
chryssie
I booked one audition in two years and it was a sleep to live infomercial mattress commercial that I flew to Texas for and I got paid $500. No I got paid $5,000. My manager who had me for two years thinking she was hiring the next. Oh and get ready. There's more. So the reason why I'm saying all this to people is to like listen to it and go it can be all poppycock…
Listen to that. Does it does it to set in every little step if you go back and watch it with the commentary Marvin Hamler says I'm the next Mary Tyler Moore. It reminds her of Mary Tyler Moore.
Okay, okay, so you're like, so who wants me? Anybody? No, it is literally job to job to job to job. So that's why I feel like the actors I've seen who'd be just so grateful for the job that they have in that moment, because they know, we will never always know, and that's what you sign up for. And if that is cool for you for the longest time, that was for me. I love not knowing what was around the corner. I loved it. I was like, this is awesome.
Jessica
Mm-hmm. Mm.
chryssie
I have no idea when I'll get a call, you know? And then you get to a point where you're like, maybe your priorities change or maybe they don't and there's also people that are still doing that and loving it. So you've gotta listen to your heart. I'm so glad I tried TV and film. I really am. Did I get the series regularly that I wanted? No. Did I want it? Yes. Did I think I deserved it? Yes. Did I get it? No. Moving on.
Jessica
Right. Mm-hmm.
chryssie
And oh, okay, so you get a series regular. My best friend and business partner, Alexis Cara, gets two series regulars back to back. And her second one, and she was there half the time I was. See, all this compare and despair, blah, blah. And then they hold her for a retainer for a year, pay her a little bit, and then she hasn't worked for three years.
She's on a series regular. Right? And you can think about that with like a Broadway show. But I was in the hit Broadway show. It's been three years. Why haven't I got my next Broadway show?
Jessica
Mm-hmm.
chryssie
I don't know why. We all try to figure it out and I don't think we ever do. So you just kind of gotta roll with it. Roll with it, go with it, enjoy it, surf it. Nobody said, this is what you have to do. If you chose to do it, then you gotta know what's coming.
Jessica
Right.
Jessica
Right. That is what you're signing up for. So you're right. You have to ride the wave as it. Yeah.
chryssie
You're signing up for riding a wave. You're not, and you're signing up for controlling how you audition.
Jessica
Say it again for the people in the back.
chryssie
Yes, you're signing up to ride the wave and signing up for controlling how you audition. Did you prep? Did you know what you're doing? Did you change your song at the last minute? Do you even have an idea of what the show is? Are you prepared? Did you stay up the night before? Did you go to bed early and rest? That is your job. Your job is to audition well and beautifully so that you can walk out of there and go, they are crazy if they don't hire me today because that was...
Jessica
Hmm.
chryssie
And will you do that every day? Nope. Will you be a messy human being? Yep. Just get back up again and try it again. And then keep going unless or until somebody, something inside of you says, hey, let's veer, let's veer. And guess what? You may veer and you may go, oh, and you may come right back like yourself, Jessica.
Jessica
Mm-hmm.
Jessica
Mm-hmm. That's true. Yeah, I think so. I think so. Okay, I will actually let you go this time. This was awesome.
chryssie
same.
chryssie
Thank you. It's okay. I so appreciate you. This was so cool. Thank you so much for this. When you're in New York, we have to get coffee.
Jessica
100% 100%. Yeah.
chryssie
Do you have my cell phone? Will you write me a little bit and then I'll write you back and make sure you have that? I can't wait to see you in class, but I really wanna sit with you and have coffee. Okay.
Jessica
Definitely. Yeah.
Jessica
Me too. Thank you so much for this.
chryssie
You're so welcome. Thank you for having me. I really appreciate it.
Jessica
Thank you for how honest and open you are here in everything you do. And I'm grateful to know you now and excited to see what comes next.
chryssie
Me too! I'm excited to see you in New York!
Jessica
Me too. Yay. Okay. Thank you so much.
chryssie
Yay! You're welcome! Okay, bye!