Harnessing Your Intuition with Lisann Valentin
Show Notes
Lisann Valentin, an established film and television Actor, a New York Times Best Selling Author, and Certified Spiritual Coach guiding creatives into personal transformation. From hit shows like Manifest, Narcos, and The Blacklist, to the New York Times best-selling anthology Eat Pray Love Made Me Do It, Lisann captivates audiences and readers with her raw vulnerability and empowering wisdom.
In today’s episode, Lisann shares her journey of self-exploration, authenticity, and reconnecting with spiritual roots, how she allows her heart’s calling to dictate the medium of expression, and the importance of honoring the union of all parts of oneself.
She also discusses her creative process and embodying characters as an actor, what she offers as a spiritual coach, and how we can be grounded in the present moment.
Follow along on Lisann’s journey: @lisannvalentin
Transcript
J
Okay, hi, Lisa.
Lisann Valentin
Hi, how are you?
J
I am so happy because I am looking at your face. How are you?
Lisann Valentin
I'm good, I'm here cozied up with my coffee and I get to talk to you, so it's a great day.
J
Well, I want to start off and just ask you how you are, how your heart is, how your soul is, how your mind is right now in this moment.
Lisann Valentin
peaceful, calm and present.
J
Beautiful. I'm happy to hear that. Yeah, I mean, it's, you are such a magical, spiritual, beautiful light that I am so grateful that I know. And I'll quickly say that Lisann and I were in a movie together, my first movie that I did, and she was such-
Lisann Valentin
Yeah. Thank you for asking.
J
an incredible support for me and an advocate for me and really taught me so much in such a short period of time. And my biggest takeaway was that whenever I would ask for some kind of advice or what should I do about this? What should I do about that? It was always, what do you think you should do? It was never just giving me a straight up answer. And I was like, damn, that is
actually quite rare to hear. And I feel like, yeah, because I feel like in my life, I'm always looking for somebody to tell me what the right answer is. And I feel like I do that with people as well. And you saying that, however simply it may have felt to you, was really profound for me.
Lisann Valentin
Thank you for sharing that. You know, I receive it. And I will say, it took me a long time to start to feel once again.
J
How did you get there?
Lisann Valentin
I mean, I think I had to, it started with beginning to explore what it is that I wanted and not what everyone else was telling me I wanted. And I think coming through that experience helped me to be in more awareness when someone needs support just to be a mirror back for them. Say, well, what do you think? Like we can troubleshoot together, but mostly I feel the most supportive is to hold the space.
and to ask the questions for the person to unfold. So that's a very little way of saying like, I can probe and it'll get your wheels turning. So you can troubleshoot it in a way that actually honors you and not in the way that would honor me.
J
Mm-hmm.
And you obviously utilize that across the board as an actor and an author and a spiritual coach and all of the various ways that you bring your work and your offerings to people and all these different methods, but really underlying it's just you are who you are and you're bringing something to people through these different channels.
Lisann Valentin
Yeah, yeah, I think that's a beautiful way to share the different aspects of me that are all my goal has always been to unify all of them. You know, I think I grew up in a way that was very linear and I tried to compartmentalize a lot and separate different aspects of my life. And at this stage, the cycle of like adulthood. I want
I am striving and honoring the unification of all parts. And so suppose what that looks like is, you know, there was this old school way of like, this is how you would behave in this circumstance and this is how you behave in this circumstance. Even down to the characters we play, right? So this is my work outfit, this is my hangout outfit, this is my performance outfit, whatever. But as actors, we all know that what brings truth is honoring the truth inside you no matter what clothes you're wearing.
And so for me, it's keeping that at the very top. What's the truth for me always? Being me always, knowing that I am all those aspects and it's not separate. It's not like a costume. It's just a note in my song.
J
What was the journey like for you getting to that point?
Lisann Valentin
Well, I mean, there's been so many journeys, I would say, because I don't want to give the impression it was like one thing happened and then now I'm an evolved human, like not at all, not even remotely. I think the first step, the first step was honoring the call to be a storyteller in a way that looked like me. So before then,
storytelling for me was only encased within the practice of law, practice law for about seven and a half years. And it didn't look like me. I'm a very good advocate. But it was, it took a toll. There was no play involved. And it was just a role that I played to serve not me, but my family. And so when I stepped into
J
Hmm.
Lisann Valentin
an acting class, it was like all the lights turned on and I was like, what? I can do this. It's amazing. And I went through that journey and helped me just sort of get in touch with me. And also get in touch with, can I curse? Because I sometimes I'm a sailor. Okay. I just want to check before it just comes flying out of my mout h. Um, and also being an awareness of like.
J
Of course, of course.
Lisann Valentin
Oh, there's so much BS, like even in the entertainment. And so not to fall into the trap of that. And so what I mean is if I see the world with these murky sunglasses, whether I'm practicing the law, whether I'm acting, whether I'm in authorship and I'm writing with an editor or whatever, or even as a spiritual coach, I'm gonna not see the full picture. I'm not gonna be able to enjoy the full experience because I'm wearing these really murky glasses. And so how did I clear the glasses is...
diving deeper into my spiritual upbringing, my spiritual truth, my spiritual life, which has been my compass throughout every wave of new career and new way to like integrate aspects. It's funny, the sweater I'm wearing looks like confetti and it's like knitted, but that feels like my life. Like I've knitted so many aspects and there's confetti everywhere and I freaking love it, if that makes sense.
J
It's a beautiful sweater and a beautiful life.
Lisann Valentin
So yeah, basically diving into acting and writing about that experience of transition, the core thread throughout all of it was my spiritual life. How much I honored the divine speaking in me and through me. And that was what helped me with each step going forward.
J
Mm-hmm. And how did you reconnect with that spiritual part of you that was also part of your lineage?
Lisann Valentin
Well, for a long time I denied it. So if I go back to compartmentalizing how I thought things were supposed to be, the biggest example is, you know, you get a solid career, that's really linear path, non-creative, creativity was a hobby, not a job. And then the structure of Catholicism was a foundational aspect that kept getting disrupted because I grew up in a very magical household, like divination and laying on the hands.
Um, you working with plants for healing was just part of how I grew up and there were no labels attached, but it was also very secreted. So it wasn't something that we did outside of like my grandparents home. Even though my grandparents, we found out later had like lots of clients all over the place that came to them. We didn't know until the way after they passed. Yeah. So books of their, like who they helped and what they did and why.
J
Oh.
J
Wow.
Lisann Valentin
Yeah, dates, it was wild. Um, and so it was secreted and I learned through the church, like I kept learning foundational things that felt familiar. And I, and I liked a lot of it. And I disliked a lot of it too, because there was something that felt like in contrast with one teaching would be in contrast with another. And I was like, what is the thing? Cause this is not something here. And I love religion. I'll tell you.
anything that I love any structure that honors love as the anchor as the foundational point makes me excited But anything that is in contrast to love I don't really like that creates This idea of like rejection persecution That doesn't thrill me that doesn't light me up. And so I think that's those are the challenges I faced The first being like I was like I want to be a priest. Why can't I be a priest at the time? I was like, this is crazy. This makes no sense to me
let's fix this, you know? And then I would go to my aunt's church and she was Pentecostal. And then they would tell me that the Catholicism was all wrong. And there was a lot of judgment with that in the Protestant Christian churches. And I was like, well, who's getting it right? Because this was very frustrating to me. The only thing that wasn't frustrating to some degree was my practice of my with the laying on the hands, there was no judgment. It felt like love. Divination freaked me out.
I didn't understand what that was. So what ended up happening was when my gifts came online, I shut them down out of fear. So I remember I was in a Catholic university and that's part of the oh my god this is so weird as part of like a fundraising event.
we did like a palm reading table and it was like a gift donated dollar for I don't know what we're raising money for and I was reading people's palms and then I was on fire and then I got in trouble for it by not even by anyone at school I got in trouble by my grandfather because I didn't I didn't know how to navigate my gift so once you open up and you're receiving information
J
Hmm.
Lisann Valentin
There's something called wisdom and discernment where just because you know something doesn't mean you should say it. And it doesn't mean you have permission to share it. And so I was coming across people on campus and I was like, oh my God, I can tell but I was like, you know, a kid of the superpower. I didn't know what I was doing. I just wanted to share it and I felt someone shut off in front of me. And I was like, oh, I'm so sorry. I'm highly empathic.
And I felt like crap. And when I told my grandfather, he like turned, he was vibrating with anger. He was like, you never go up to someone unless you have their permission. It's like, you never do that. And I was like, well, nobody taught me this, like in my mind, you know, like I didn't know. And so that shame, I shut it off. It was compounded by like, oh, maybe divination is shameful. Maybe it's all wrong. So I went through cycles of on and off, on and off, on and off throughout my life.
J
Right?
Lisann Valentin
And it wasn't.
Lisann Valentin
I learned to meditate when I was 14. And it wasn't until much later that I connected the divination, intuition, and that inner peace, that they were all the same. They were all connected. The oneness I felt in meditation, like the Holy Spirit Kundalini that I felt, with mantras, like all of it was connected to upgrading the software of my inner iPhone. Do you know what I mean? Like, and no one...
J
Mm.
Lisann Valentin
No one was telling me that this was just how we're made up. We're made up to function at this level. And that it supports whatever we came here to do. Those are kind of things that I ended up stumbling across.
through different stages of life, but also when I became a shaman, when they said yes to becoming a shaman. And then all my teachers showed up, literally, like fireworks, like boom, boom. Different shamans from different cultural traditions and just mystics and teachers that were like, hey, you've been on this road this whole time, but now you get to put it all together. It's a very long-winded answer to your question, but.
All of these components kind of came together when I finally said yes to the call I'd been waiting for my whole life
J
And how does that intersect with not just acting as a craft, but also being in the business of acting and having to navigate those realities too?
Lisann Valentin
So as an actor, in my perspective, if I'm telling a story, one, I get to be able to dive into my layers as a human. That means even if I'm a really happy-centered person, I get to invite the experience of my shadow. What is the part of me that's unhealed? Because we're telling stories about people that get to heal something, even the happiest person. Is healing through an experience or walking through that on camera.
or on stage. And so even if I haven't had that particular experience, I've had something similar, right? So I get to invite that experience. And in a funny way, it's healing because you may not even be in awareness that you have that layer waiting for healing.
Um, and so as an actor, the first question I asked, especially when I was feeling like super power, like supercharged powered up, I was like, do I, how do I show up in my gifts in this role? And I remember I was on a set and I'm standing under the lights and I heard in my heart, like you just had to be there. Just be, be as you are, emanate your light as you are. And that change that causes the change. So if you think about like
you walk into a theater and maybe you're hearing a live orchestra play and you kind of hear the sounds reverberating, not just like encompassing the walls around you and above you, but you can feel it in you. You can kind of feel the vibration on your skin. And if you're moved by it, you definitely feel it in your heart. As performers, if we're walking in our own light, that's what people will experience no matter if they're in awareness or not, no matter if you're playing the villain or the victor.
Doesn't matter. You get to be that light. You get to play your song, no matter what role, whatever exterior role that is. So once I learned that I kind of got to settle deeper into my craft and got to welcome the experiences that were in contrast with how I lived and sort of have more empathy for this character that maybe doesn't look like me, but that I get to honor her and in turn get to honor the experience of whoever watches that.
J
Mm.
J
Wow.
Lisann Valentin
Hahaha
J
Well, I think also specifically when we were playing together in our movie Candlewood, we had, first of all, we hated each other. And then behind the scenes, we loved each other and were very supportive of each other. And we actually had a comment that it was suggested to us to not be so loving towards each other behind the scenes. But we didn't need to do that.
we could flip it on and off. But how is that process for you doing a character who, and maybe you can explain the character's story a little bit and how it felt navigating all of that turmoil.
Lisann Valentin
Veronica is super painful to play, I will say. And so in Candlewood, we have like this mixed family that comes, that moves out of New York City to Connecticut, this town in New Milford. And you got to play Brandy, a character who's like from New Milford. And I got to play a very like posh and judgmental New Yorker. Maybe the New Milfordians, I don't know, that they're maybe they're judgmental, right, of the New Yorkers, I don't know.
But you were welcoming to me and to the neighborhood, your character anyway. And I was already, I think, and my character was in a struggle already. Like it was just the beginning of her struggle. Or at least the awareness of the struggle. And so playing her, first of all, meeting you, it was like sunshine. Like, I don't know, it took two minutes to like, for us to fall in love with each other. And it's like hug and just being like friends. And that's when the director was like, can you guys stop?
J
Mm-hmm.
Lisann Valentin
But when I went to play Veronica, I'd seen many adaptations of the script, like for about six months. And I was like, how am I going to play her? And so the first thing I did was in my very shaman way, I was like, okay, Veronica, I welcome you. I invite you into my experience so I can honor your story.
So I personified her as something external to me that I allowed to be part of my reality. And the minute I did that, which is something I'd never done before, if I'm being honest. I never, I just would find something that I connected with, but she was so foreign to me that I was like, I'm inviting your whole experience. You know, I'm not the Pilates stepmom who's not really invested dating some like Wall Street dudes. Like I was the Wall Street dude. Like it was like.
It was like, no, this makes no sense to me, you know? But when I invited her in, I got to experience jealousy. I got to experience feeling insecure at a level that I think I hadn't felt in since maybe I was really young. I got to experience lack. Oh, fucking lack. Really got to experience lack because even though they're very wealthy, they're missing so many aspects.
Energy wants to move as I say this. That's why it sounds like I'm about to burp on your audio, but like that's what happens. Energy moves when something is shifting. And so I understood lack. And so that was the biggest like factor. So I was in pain for most of that and having to untangle at night when the cameras weren't rolling, just to remember who I am and sit in my sovereignty. And not let the emotions of playing her.
sink too deep into my skin, right? To untangle from her at night when I went to sleep or whenever the cameras weren't rolling. And then that was a challenge. I didn't totally free her until I was driving home from New Milford and I literally opened the windows and I yelled out, thank you, I set you free. Thank you, I set you free. And I was like crying and happy that I had the experience and I no longer needed to hold Veronica.
J
Hmm.
J
Mm.
Lisann Valentin
So yeah, I got to invite those emotions. And so how I am even as a coach, if someone tells me they feel a certain way, I'll have them personify the emotion. Like someone was talking to me about jealousy and I was like, well, what does she look like inside of jealousy was female? And she's like, I don't know. I was like, I kind of see her like in gold, the main, like roller skates and she's flossing, but she realized she doesn't have anything that she wants. Right? Cause jealousy wants, covet what other people have.
And she was like, ah, yeah, totally gold the May. Like, I don't know, it like hit that client that I was talking to. So I'll personify emotion. So it makes sense for me to personify like, okay Veronica, teach me what, like show me what you're here to teach me. What's gonna honor you? So yeah, it was hard. Jessica, it was hard. It was hard. I just talked to Mike. I told him I was in pain playing.
J
Mm-hmm. And I was.
Lisann Valentin
And he was like, I don't want to hear that. I'm like, well, I signed up for it.
J
You better hear it, Mike. Hehehehehehe.
J
Yeah, I remember one day in particular, I don't know if you remember this, but I was only on set like five days or something like that, and you were there for what, six weeks? And so I had the benefit of coming in and out, whereas you were all there the entire time. And I remember one day, I think it was the day we filmed when you had to slap me that day, and...
Lisann Valentin
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
J
I could feel something going through you. I felt it so significantly. You were sitting in one of the chairs in the hair and makeup, and I was just in a different chair, and I just felt it. And I think I, I can't remember exactly. I think I came over and put my hands on your shoulders and started just like, I don't know, I don't know. I mean, I think I do have that.
Lisann Valentin
Yeah, I remember.
J
tendency to be able to connect with people in that way. And as a dancer, like we always used to massage each other and kind of offer some kind of physicalized support as we could. But I think that there was something that was pulling me so powerfully to you and knowing like you were vibrating what you needed in that moment. And I was like, I'm coming.
J
I'm here. Because I could. I had that ability because I was more, I wasn't as just pulled into this. And also as brandy as that character, I had an ability to know like I'm orchestrating all this shit. So I had a lot of ability to be separate and to feel like I was in control. Because that's how I crafted everything about it. Like every single thing was in control.
Lisann Valentin
Yeah.
J
Whereas for you, it was this process of getting out of control and losing power.
Lisann Valentin
Mm-hmm. Yeah. And that was magic. Like that moment, I remember when you came up and put your hands on my shoulders. It was like magical. I was like, oh, she's magic. Like literally. As we're talking, I've been seeing flashing lights all over the place. So I'm like, oh, I hope the audio records like that. We don't disrupt this whole thing. No, because you are magical. Like you have.
J
Hehehe
Lisann Valentin
beautiful gifts like and you're Reiki do you talk about this?
J
Just, yeah, I'm yoga certified, that's it.
Lisann Valentin
Okay.
J
Tell me. Tell me what's on your mind. Don't hold back. Don't trap anything in.
Lisann Valentin
No, you're very, I could have sworn that you were Ricky Master. I was like, oh yeah, she's definitely Ricky Master. Like when you put your hands on me, I was like, oh yeah, for sure. And I think and so let's so let's talk about labels then. And let's talk about like this is your first time on a feature film being a lead in a feature.
J
Mm-hmm.
J
Mm-hmm. Doing any acting on screen at all. Yeah.
Lisann Valentin
on camera. Congratulations to you. So let's honor that. That's a huge like, I want to say
J
Thank you.
Lisann Valentin
I want to say it's a rite of passage to be able to honor that you jumped in front of a screen in a beautiful way in a major role. That's not small potatoes. It's a big deal. You know, yeah. And you got to experience, I don't know, I think everything is so divinely orchestrated at times. Like your first experience could have been really shitty, you know, and
J
Thank you.
J
Thank you.
J
Oh yeah.
Lisann Valentin
Thankfully it wasn't, you know. And the cast and crew, everyone was really supportive and kind. That was my first time as a lead in a feature film. I'd done other films, but made a day or two, nothing crazy like that. Yeah, man, I'm excited about that. I am. And I feel really honored that I got to do it in a supportive way, in my magic. And that's what I'm getting to. Like I got to feel your magic.
J
Let's honor that.
J
Yeah.
J
Mm-hmm.
Lisann Valentin
You know, a dancer embodies movement and gets to express her soul through that movement and gets to free other people when they're witnessing that movement. I find that I'm not a dancer. And so when I witness a dancer, it's so freeing to see the way they're so in command of their bodies and how like energy flows through them. The only comparable I have is like if I do qigong.
I feel energy moving through my hands and my body. I feel where my body wants to go. How I wanna lean, where energy's trying to resurge and to escape. And what that looks like for me in Qigong. For you as an artist and a creative, what magic do you create in that movement? And what are you emanating out? And when you put your hands on me, it doesn't have to be a dance. There was energy and movement and it was healing. It was healing touch.
It was, you don't need a certification to be imbued with gifts. Yeah, you also don't need to be in a marquee to be an actor. You also don't need to be famous to do what you love. Like there's all these things of like, what is the pinnacle of one's personal success? And that level changes. And
J
Mm-hmm.
Lisann Valentin
the label is something you decide if you need it. For me, it's how much joy am I experiencing in this moment? How much am I in my gifts in the fullness of my gifts and how much fucking fun am I having? Because if I'm not having fun, I'm not doing this shit. Like I'm just not, you know.
J
I'm sorry.
Lisann Valentin
Yeah, and you get to meet magical people on set. If you're open and you're ready. Ha ha ha.
J
Yeah.
J
Ooh. I, something that I've talked about a lot on this podcast is my journey with dance. And it's really validating, I guess, and also just beautiful to hear you talk about not needing labels and how touching your shoulders is movement, is passing of energy.
And I think that is what I rebel against or really resist when I find something, whether it's with dance or with acting or with something else in my life that feels not aligned with what my intuition is calling for and wanting. So when I was dancing and I was having fun and I did have a lot of joy and fulfillment at some point,
And then I lost that because of everything that was going on around me as I was trying to become a professional and work in a career and get paid and have contracts and people tell me what to do and all these things. There's a lot of resistance in some ways because I didn't believe in a lot of what was going on. So it felt like this disconnect, this dissociation with my intuition.
and what was actually happening in front of me and what I wanted. And so when you come into, let's go back to Candlewood, when you're coming into an acting space, I felt also like I was able to bring all of me and all that I was curious about. It was a character I never thought in a million years I would be playing, ever. And I was able to
like you're saying, kind of just call this person in and anything that went wrong, per se, like any kind of hiccup throughout the process, I just somehow tried to add into her story and then bring it with me. Like anything that caused a little frustration or whatever it was, I would just bring into what was going on. But I do think that...
J
The labels are what I am really trying to rework in my own brain. And I think will be a really necessary part of all of us setting ourselves free a little bit more and letting ourselves explore who we are as artists and as human beings and how we define success.
and how we fight for our own joy and our own sense of expression and what kind of magic we all have within us and not getting lost in the bullshit of what it's easy to get wrapped up in.
Lisann Valentin
Yeah. So will you tell me a little bit more about that, like in terms of labels, if you want to share like what is the, what's the sticky part about maybe a specific label or whatever.
J
I actually just said this in the last or one of the recent episodes.
J
I feel like...
J
I have a lot of interests. I have a lot of ways that my ideas and my expression desire to be channeled in ways that I hadn't thought. Like I started writing a lot and all of a sudden I was writing poems and things just kind of evolved, it happened. And so then when I go to write my bio and I joke, I'm like, I've done one of a million things.
Like I've acted in one movie, I performed in one theater production, I was the associate director once. Like once. And so then I'm like, well, how do I label myself? How do I define myself? But also I don't want to label or define myself. I just wanna be like, hey, I'm Jess, and if you have a really cool project, I wanna work with you if we connect. And like I kinda want that to be my bio. Yeah, I have.
I have skills, I have different experiences, I can act, I can dance in the right context. And by can I mean like not just like oh I'm trained to do this so I can do it, like I can because it's part of me and I love it and I know how to do it to a certain extent. And
J
I've created this mission statement for myself that I've been writing for like years now and it's I want to work with soulful people on meaningful projects. Period. That's it. And I think that because I've just done a little of everything, I also feel like not quite good enough in anything to present myself as this thing.
So that's where the way, and that's also just from a professional context.
But that's where I think I'm really resisting the labels. And as I'm trying to remove myself from all these boxes and labels that I've put myself in my entire life.
So, and it's also, I come from a family that was also very linear. My dad's a lawyer, both of my little sisters are lawyers. Everything was very much like, you go to school, you go to law school, you take the bar, you get the job, all these things. And then I'm here like, no one will say this, but it's always like, what's going on with you Jess? What you doing now? Okay.
Lisann Valentin
Yeah.
J
That's great. All right
Lisann Valentin
Mm-hmm.
Well, I mean, thank you for sharing that. I think that's an experience for many people. I definitely I resonate with. I totally understand because I've done a lot of things. And my dad always say Jack of all trades, master of none, which is far better than just being a master of one. And I'd be like, oh, yeah, that is a perspective, right? So like, yeah, I can do lots of things and I can.
I can absolutely put up sheetrock and mend a wall. Totally. I learned how to do that. I'm not a carpenter. But I have many skills. Just we're not assassins, right? We're not Liam Neeson. So, I mean, I think look, we're at a stage where we've lived through a pandemic. Everything that was supposed to be certain.
and solid in terms of our foundations shattered. And in that contrast, we were given the opportunity to rise up and decide what life was going to look like. And I'm getting emotional. What life is going to look like for those of us that are still here, that remained in this experience and how we wanted to show up. And many of us were already on that trajectory before foundations crumbled around us.
Thankfully because we were here to hold the hands of those coming out of the rubble and You were showing up that way with your podcast, which is a thing that not a lot of people do Not a lot of people show up and use their voices boldly They want to they strive to they desire to But then they live it through those who are bold enough to say yes you know and that is a service and Having all those different
Lisann Valentin
skill sets or what allow you to connect with soulful people. Right. So it's not that you're in a stage of wanting you already are it. This is what you're doing. You know, and it's the difference between like I'm in a space of just desire for his I'm in the space of embodying and you are in the embodiment of that and
J
Mm.
Lisann Valentin
And that might mean that the title that the human needs to show other humans who need titles is multi-hypnotic creative or just like producer or whatever feels good in this stage of life which will change. I resist saying I'm a fifth generation shaman because that might mean nothing to some people and that might be something very specific to another set of people. And so the box that fits that is spiritual coach and Reiki master, right? But that doesn't...
J
Mm-hmm.
J
Hmm.
Lisann Valentin
necessarily like I would like to just say I'm fucking magic and Everything I do has magic to it. You know what I mean? you know and maybe I will one day but there are like Humans love boxes and labels. That's why those organizational shows are like so satisfying to so many people Because of like there's a label. There's a box There's a place and we can put it there and I want to take my hand and swipe it all and throw it on the floor And be like
J
Yeah.
J
Mm-hmm.
J
Yeah.
Lisann Valentin
Like it satisfies, it gives you the dopamine hit of having accomplished something. Oh, this is big. I don't know why I never talk about organizations. I don't even care about the shows. So many times we're like, if I can get myself to fit in this tiny fucking box, then I'll be worthy and accepted enough. But you weren't made to fit in a box.
J
Mm-hmm.
J
Yeah.
Lisann Valentin
So you get to be big, you get to be bold. And you get to show up in different incarnations of you. And maybe this podcast, you do this and this becomes a radio show and you're on fucking serious exam. Maybe not, maybe you're on TV, maybe you're a host, maybe you become a producer, maybe you're working at the fucking own network, I don't know. Maybe you're just performing and you say I'm not gonna interview people anymore. Maybe you write dozens of books. Maybe that's what you do.
about every soul that person you met and what you learned in the process.
maybe just being open is the journey.
J
The word embodiment.
is complicated for me, for me, because it is the root of everything I've been writing and working through for a decade. Because as a younger dancer through high school I was extremely in my body.
Lisann Valentin
Why? Tell me why.
J
I had issues. I had developed body image issues and distorted eating for sure by the time I was in high school, but when I got to dance, I was in a magical place. Like actually just yesterday, I have this playlist that I made of a few of the songs from high school that I danced to that were so deeply meaningful to me. And I played it yesterday at the end of my workout stretch situation.
just to try to connect to feeling.
and I got to college and it was all about boxes and being small, literally being small.
J
creating shapes that were expected of us, being a shape in our body that was expected of us. And it all evolved from there, kept evolving.
and I, at the end of my senior year, I was sexually assaulted by a professor off campus in a private Pilates studio and that to me was the
climax, well I don't want to say that. That to me was the most extreme example of what I had been experiencing for years with pulling away from my intuition, saying my body is bad, my body's not enough, starving it, overworking it, listening to what other people were saying about it, all this stuff, until this point where a really horrible thing happened and I felt myself leave my body.
I was like, I do not exist in my body anymore. Don't worry, that didn't happen. I just kept saying, that didn't happen, that didn't happen. Don't worry about it. And I just walked out, nothing happened. And so everything since then, therapy and having to have an investigation because I came forward about it and eventually him being fired and all this stuff, everything...
from then to now has been about coming home to my body and the extreme resistance that I feel to it. And it's not just because of that and because of this disordered eating and all of those things. It's also because of how complicated it was in terms of how it was interconnected with dance and with performing. So there's all of this dissociation like,
J
I know in that deepest knowing-est part of myself, I know that nothing fuels me and sets me free like being in a performance setting of any capacity. Yet I resist that like the fucking plague. Like I will just shut that shit down, shut it down, shut it down.
and the podcast and the writing, those things have helped me so much. And they're also integral and necessary for my life and my healing, but they cannot replace that other need that I still am so disconnected from. And doing the movie was so helpful because it was an actually safe space. And I...
at that point felt like I could really use my voice. Like I used my voice when I thought, you know, I don't agree with this costume choice or this costume choice, like it doesn't feel right to me. Things like that. And I talked to Mike, Mike was wonderful. They added a scene in the fall. We like did, added another scene and he was so open and responsive to my thoughts about it. And we worked through it together. Like it was safe in every way imaginable and that was really healing.
And I had like a performance opportunity doing Fiddler on the Roof that was extremely healing because it was just joy and movement for movement, like gorgeous, beautiful movement in a musical that I fucking loved. And still, the thoughts overwhelm. The thoughts overwhelm the feeling. And I believe that so much of the...
Lisann Valentin
Mmm.
Lisann Valentin
Mm-hmm.
J
depression and anxiety that I experience in my life.
are seriously interconnected with some piece of that embodiment slash expression that I've been having a hard time accessing and processing.
Lisann Valentin
Thank you for sharing that so openly and honestly. I think yeah, a lot of people won't share. And I will say I have to disconnect my audio because I have 6% battery and I want to connect the battery. Okay.
J
Thank you for asking.
Lisann Valentin
Um, it sounds like you've been on a, and still are on a big healing journey with, um, coming home to yourself. You know, I think… for me being safe in my body. I think just for women a lot of times in general, we have like a struggle or some experience to navigate in terms of safety, in terms of not just how we see ourselves but what it means to be seen. And when we are seen in our full glory and that is violated by something external to us. The only safe thing might feel like quieting and turning inward and shutting down and shutting off and pushing away and it can cause dissonance within ourselves. And so we will turn to things that feel like enough. This is enough for now. I only need this much. I don't need that thing. That thing, it's like a punishment. We get punished for showing up and being beautiful and bold and wild and free. As women in general, I'm only talking about the female experience because it's all I know. And so...this idea of punishment, I feel like runs rampant in our society and it's in our DNA. And then we have experiences in this body, in this life that sort of reinforce an old story. If you are too big, if you are too much, if you are too sexy, too bold, too beautiful, too talented, someone will come and try to rip it away from you. And that can manifest in any way. In any way. And that's a story that we get to untangle from and rewrite no matter what experiences have proven it to be true. So what I mean by that is, let's just talk about being intuitive as a woman. Historically, women were burned at the stake. You were a witch, okay? Or you were drowned. Or any number of things, assaulted, imprisoned. If you showed up in your full power, you were hurt and punished for it.
J
Mm-hmm.
Lisann Valentin
That's an old story that we don't have to lean into anymore because many of us are stepping out into our power in a way that is supportive, not just to us, but to those who follow. And we're making it safe for them to be big, to be beautiful, to be bold, to be wild, to be free by doing it ourselves and taking our time with that process. And so yes, having a different creative pursuit that lets you have an outlet is necessary.
Because it feeds that part of our soul that needs feeding, that needs nurturing. And it also helps to heal the parts that are ready to dance and fly and be wild and free again, that are ready to just merge with the earth, the air, just all of it, and to just show out, and to show out in a way that really, really head to toe can be felt and is not compartmentalized in a way that is just small and just enough, and just beautiful enough to be looked at and never ripped away or hurt.
But those are all aspects of the same thing, same person, same being. It's all part of you. Much like the different things I do are all part of me. And the more that I get to show up in my body and love on me without fear of being hurt, the more I give permission to the next person to do the same. But in my own time and in my own way and in my own healing. Right?
And so I can't wait for the day that you were able to feel so much freedom just in your physical body, letting your soul shine through and knowing that however it shows up, it's not going to be ripped away from you. No one had the right to do that in the first place to even try to own you in that way, to claim you in that way. No one did. And they didn't. They didn't succeed because you're still here. You're still fucking standing. You're still creating. You know. But now you get to reinvent yourself in a way that honors this version of you.
You know, and I'm- I- stories like this are too fucking common and I get enraged by it. And I get really proud of those of us that stand up and say something, you know. That speak. That fucking speak. God damn, we will quiet our voice just to not let it be known that anyone did that to us. In any way. I keep thinking about unicorns. Like, in lore, a unicorn could not just be appreciated for being. It would want to be harnessed, caged, killed because it possessed the thing that someone else wanted to have.
But the thing is we all possess our own inner beauty and magic. We don't need to go out and try to capture, tame, or kill that in someone else to make ourselves feel better. And we all have had experiences with people like that, that don't see their own light, inner magic, inner love, and that they want to actively go out and try to dampen someone else's because they don't know what else to do with it.
But if I'm thinking about magical unicorns, they're already wild and free. They already are completely who they are. There's nothing to cover, to cloak, to hide. They just get to exist in the fullness of their glory. And if we're lucky to see one, then that's an experience that becomes all our own, the witnessing of it. And I think when we get to a space where we get to witness ourselves, and to say I am that, Oh shit, I'm that. That's fucking me. And to really, really just look at ourselves and say, look what I did. Look at who I am. And know that that's more than enough, that that's fucking everything. We're already winning. We're already winning.
We're not worried about who's around us or what people are going to think or how they're going to call us. We may not even call ourselves a goddamn unicorn, but we get to just exist in that magic.It's funny when I met you around that time was the first time that I let myself hug people. I wouldn't hug people before that. I would do like the half arm sideways tap on the shoulder and then immediately disconnect hug because I needed to heal from the idea that hugging mostly men would mean that I was leading somebody on or an expectation would be had of me or that they were trying to take advantage of that moment of vulnerability.
For a long time, I would not. And that was someone else's story. No matter what experiences I had, it wasn't something that was seeded by me or by love. It was something seeded through fear. And I think the question we get to ask ourselves is, when we're healing. And we're looking at this garden of our life. What has been seeded? What did we actively seed and what was the source of that?
What was the source of that? Was it infinite source? Was it divine love that helped with this co-creation of this reality? Or was this someone else's seed? And is it something that we don't need? Maybe we can dig it up. Saw this doesn't belong here. It takes wisdom to do that and patience, but it's doable.
J
What can you offer up to somebody as kind of a first step of tapping into their own inner wisdom? Because I'm sure a lot of people listening, they're like, what the hell does that even mean? And how could I possibly access it? What could be like a simple step one?
Lisann Valentin
The simplest step one that I can, that is a good practice actually. Just a good practice and this sounds like it's not related but it is. So let's say I have two cups in front of me. I literally do. I'm just looking. Well, which ones do I want?
And then obviously I want the empty cup or do I want something full of water? And I really want to drink this water. So I want this. I don't want to try to chug from an empty cup. Some people might want whatever's left in here. Right. But no. So why do I give that example? And what does that have to do with intuition? Intuition is part of your makeup. We call it our instinct, our knowing. And so the minute we start honoring our desire to be nurtured, and where we're pulled, so in this aspect it was water, it was gonna drink from a full cup of water and not an empty cup of coffee that had made me a sip left in it.
You start to honor yourself. The honoring of yourself is really huge because we spend a lot of times not honoring us, which is how we started this conversation. I was living someone else's story, I was nurturing someone else's seeds, this is all, all of my experience were about someone else. And now when I start to listen to me,that feels different. There's no resistance in my physical body, right? And so I will feel resistance if something's outside of alignment for me. So like, if I had a third cup and it was whiskey and it's a six o'clock at a bar and I feel someone says, oh, you don't want to drink? Like, come on. And I lean into that whiskey, but my body wants the water.
That feeling is a nice indicator of what's not aligned and your intuition is the opposite of that. So intuition is neutral, it's the first thing, it's the thing that says go, right? It's not an impulse without wisdom, it is a very neutral place of love. And you feel it first, it's first hit, first thought. The second guessing is not intuition, it is not from love. That's us being in our heads and trying to fit a story, a label, a box that belongs to someone else. So in that scenario everyone wanting me to drink alcohol because it makes them more comfortable and me feeding that is outside of alignment for me and now I'm not honoring my intuition and I'm not letting myself grow in that way.
So the simplest way is try with choice. Pick things that you like in front of you and lean into the first question, which one do I want in this moment right now? And lean to the answer and that's how you start practicing paying attention to what is your heart is calling you to. The next thing could be a decision of where to go. Someone invites you to hang out somewhere. What is the first feeling? What is the first impulse you get? There's a lot tied into that, but just practicing with making decisions. That's how you start leading in. Meditation, mindfulness, dance is a form of mindfulness and meditation in my perspective. So is breath, so is boxing, so is like any sport really.
Anything that you can be in your breath and your body helps you get in the moment and helps you hear the voice of love inside of you, your intuition, your instinct. So step one is start making decisions and listening. Step two is get really grounded and do the same thing. Getting grounded whatever way. So go for a run and then practice the same thing and see how it shifts inside of you. How it feels in your body is a good indicator. Those are simple ways to start leaning into intuition. And I'm pretty sure it's gonna, once you practice, you're like, oh, I've been, I already know, I've already been doing this. Like, it's not foreign, it's part of your makeup. It's part of who you are. They express differently, but that's a good starting place.
J
And what does it really mean to be grounded?
Lisann Valentin
It means to be in the moment, to be totally present in the moment that you're not living in the future, you're not living in the past. You're here. And the word resonates because if you put your feet in soil, there's multiple things happening. One, you're very aware that your feet are in dirt. Okay? Like, let's just be very clear. My feet are in dirt or in grass. I know this. So there you're being mindful. Two, you're feeling the energy of the earth. There's frequency being emitted by the earth and it's coming up through the soles of your feet…your body acclimates to that.
Again, it's like, again, the example of listening to an orchestra and walking in and hearing them play live and how that feels, it's the same. Just that this is an orchestra you can't hear. My ears are ringing as we're talking about this. And so your body will adjust. So that's why when people go on vacation and they're on the sand, they come back so relaxed. They've been practicing grounding by connecting their feet to earth's energy for multiple moments in a row, without rubber in between the soles of their feet. That's why I think when I see dancers barefoot, I'm like, oh, they're so in it because they're so connected, right? And so being grounded, literally your feet touching the ground, to you being so in the moment that you're not living in another time. So if I'm here with you, I'm not thinking about the next thing I wanna say. I'm not thinking about what I gotta do in an hour or in 10 minutes. I'm just here now. And if I can't get there, I reset to my breath and just like anchor into your breathing, it will get you back here.
Lisann Valentin
What's happening?
J
I'm breathing.
Lisann Valentin
Hahaha
J
breathing and that's acting too. Being there and not being ahead and anticipating what someone's going to say or really responding and it's writing, it's coaching, it's everything. Being somewhere, sometimes when I'm writing too, I read back a passage and I'm like, I didn't fucking write that. Who fucking wrote that? That doesn't sound like me. I've never, I don't even, I don't remember any of that. Because then I was really there and I was able to be out of my head and let something come through. And I think the moments that feel really good when you
Lisann Valentin
Yeah.
J
are coaching, like when I'm coaching too, it feels the same way when I'm really connected with the student and I'm like offering something up that I feel I can really benefit them in some way and I can feel that immediate response. I can feel them breathing a little deeper or I could feel some kind of relief or understanding and Yeah.
Lisann Valentin
I don't know why I'm trying to like understand what I'm hearing all this stuff. So when you were talking about, so people call it inspiration, right? Writers will call it inspiration or painters will call it their muse. Some of us would call it channeling. One of my favorite ways to get guidance is to use what is called automatic writing. So to be so in the moment and just ask a question and write. Ask a question and write. And I mean, I've been writing, been journaling specifically since I was eight. And I would write to God all the time. And God would write back. And I'll notice some of the most beautiful inspired things, they don't feel like, they feel bigger than me. It's like, where did that come from? Just like you're saying, where did that come from? And it came through your hand. It was specifically engineered for you to be the conduit for it.
But it's like, if you think about the highest aspect of you guiding you into that becoming, like future Jess is like, oh my God, I just got this huge like wave. Future Jess is just like right here, right just above, right there going, like whispering, just like grab the pen, write the thing, you know? Like I'm here, I'm with you. And like helping you step into that next level, always coaxing you forward, coaxing you forward with like the beautiful manifestations that only you could create.
Doing that as an actor and doing that as a writer, doing that as a creative, it's a sacred act. It is holy. It is an aspect of divinity pouring out of you. That's why one of my favorite things about the word Olay is that when I've heard this story told, it excites me. It's like when a dancer is on fire, they would yell, Allah, and clap because God was showing up through them. That holy fire in the dance and they were yelling God's name because they could see it in the dance there and it became Olé Olé. Right? It's still the same thing. I'm seeing you lit from within in your sacred dance in whatever way that shows up. That's amazing. That lights the world on fire. I'm so glad that you're doing what you're doing.
J
And I'm so glad you're doing what you're doing.
Lisann Valentin
Thank you.
J
I'm curious how you took the leap to go to your first acting class. When you were on this trajectory, law school lawyer, what sparked the idea and how did you actually move forward into action?
Lisann Valentin
When I was, this is really funny, I never tell this part of the story. I was watching Twilight, the vampire movie on TV. It was like on TV. And I was so in it. I was so immersed in what was happening. I was repeating lines from the movie.
J
Mm-hmm.
J
That's funny enough.
Lisann Valentin
And I was like, I'm like saying it differently as I'm watching it. And my partner walks into the room and goes, you want to be an actor! And I looked at him and I went, what are you talking about? Like, how dare you? Like, that's ridiculous, you know? And I think that was like the first little hint. I had the story I told myself before I went and enrolled in HB Studio was, this will help me be a better lawyer.
You know, because I was so, I took everything very personally. So when you're highly sensitive, when you're highly empathic, you feel the energy of others. If you don't know what you're, if you don't know how to manage that, you take it all with you. It's like you have a thousand pieces of luggage and you're just carrying it everywhere. It gets exhausting. When you learn to manage your emotions, it feels very differently. And so acting was, yeah. Yeah.
J
Hmm…picks up my pen. I'm like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Lisann Valentin
When you learn to manage those feelings and emotions, it becomes very powerful to be empathic. It doesn't feel like you're just receiving. It feels like you're emanating out. It's different, it's a different vibe. But at that time, I needed to be cloaked in something and I thought, I told myself acting would help. What it did was set me on a trajectory to shift everything in my life and start planning to leave the law. It did make me a better litigator, not because of the acting in itself, but because I was in my joy.
I found an outlet for my creativity and my joy that was dying to immerse outside of my writing. You know, because much like the way you shared, I love writing. I'm very comfortable writing. I'm very comfortable. This is like the easiest form of magic that I can create is with my pen.
It's so natural to me. It's like breathing. But my body wants to play too. You know, so I got to do that as an actor. Yeah.
J
My body wants to play.
Lisann Valentin
Mm-hmm.
J
just made me think about how I have had a lot of conversations with people who say, oh, I can't dance even in a, at a wedding or something like that. And I genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, I'm like, you absolutely can dance. And it's because of these labels and boxes that we've lived in for so long.
If you can breathe, you can move. If you are alive, you can move in some way. Even if you are sitting and you are in breath, what is to say that is not dance? Okay, you might not go into a professional ballet company. That's not what defines a dancer. It's not what defines dancing and expression through dance.
Lisann Valentin
Mm-hmm.
J
So to be able to use your body in play, in joy, in curiosity, in any capacity is for everybody.
And I've mentioned this before, but I've talked to a couple people about helping them with like dancing at weddings. Because it is really uncomfortable if you are not connected to your body, if you don't think you can do it, if you have this image of yourself as a bad dancer, bad dancer, bad dancer. What does it mean to be a fucking bad dancer? There is no such thing maybe you won’t dance on Broadway, but that's not what makes a good dancer anyway. Being a dancer is being in your body. It is connecting to your breath and it's doing anything you fucking want to do with your body and with movement.
Lisann Valentin
Mm-hmm. Well, yeah, because intuitively, I think that's an important conversation to have. I think like, think about being an actor in your body, even outside of dance, there's movement there. How is your body expressing what you're feeling? How comfortable you are in the skin. And then if you take that further and you take it into dance, if you already have all these preconceived labels of what it means to be a dancer and you feel that you are not that, and then you're coming into that space with judgment, then it's really vulnerable to say, now I'm going to do this thing that I am not, you know?
One of my favorite forms of movement that I actually didn't like at all before is like ecstatic dance. I remember I would see it and be like, what the hell is that? Like, what are you doing? What is it? It's like where the wild things are, right? Like you're just like all over the place, hands everywhere, but it's really freeing and you get so in your body and you get so in your breath. So if I dance, I'll dance as a form of meditation and I'll put on music really loud and I'll just… flail all over the place and mostly I keep my eyes closed.
And that for me I know is because it's like I just don't want to be, I don't want to know that I'm being seen even if no one's home. I just want to be in my space, in me. And when I'm dancing, I'm playing with energy again for me it's like with Qigong. So I'm feeling the energy moving between my hands, in between my body. I'm feeling go out of my spine and I'm playing with the idea that like I'm dancing with the divine. When I'm dancing with the divine, there's no judgment.
J
Mm-hmm.
Lisann Valentin
and I'm actually moving parts of my body, I probably wouldn't move if I was trying to follow a two-step or like a routine. Which is again, I am not a dancer. When I was little, I was a dancer. I wanted to be a choreographer. That was very little, yeah. Yeah. But it's nice to get back to your body in that way, outside of the expectation of having to perform.
J
Right, right.
Lisann Valentin
And if you get to play in your body in that way and feel your body, then maybe that would help open up the invitation for when you do that in front of other people. Right? And you're just moving and you're moving in the space of love without judgment. And truly people are really more obsessed with how they look anyway. No one's really looking at you. You know what I mean? They're all so absorbed with how they are appearing. They're not really worried about you. And if they are worried about you, they have nothing better to do.
J
Right.
Lisann Valentin
Literally they have nothing better to do if they're worried about you. But I think that's great that you can help people get back into their bodies and raise the volume on that fire inside of them. You know, we put it out so often. We associate it with so many things, with our sensuality, with our sexuality, with our taking up space in a room. We associate it with so many things.
But as little kids, when we're dancing, we don't care. We do not care. We will jump and flail and take up all the room. A kid at a wedding is a good example. They do not care. Okay, they will be in the middle. They will run around like.
J
Yes.
Lisann Valentin
They're free. And dancing is freeing, if you allow it to be.
J
And also the more free you are, then the more you're permitting other people around you to be free. Like imagine if everybody was dancing like a child at a wedding. You're not gonna feel self-conscious about what you're doing and what you look like because everyone's just doing their fucking thing. So like the more that you can set yourself free, the more you're also going to be able to set other people free.
Lisann Valentin
And that's in everything. That's the invitation you create when you do it for yourself. That is the invitation. Now, some people don't want to see the invitation, right? This will overwhelm them. But that's again, that's not your journey or your business, really. So we don't have to own that, right? So what I mean by that is that like if you're we were on the red carpet together, okay, we're being seen.
J
Mm-hmm. I was so uncomfortable.
Lisann Valentin
Welcome to the zoo.
J
So uncomfortable. You had to force me to come over and take pictures.
Lisann Valentin
Yeah, yeah, but it's a good exercise in allowing yourself to be witnessed as you in the most dressed up version, right? Because it's not like us in jogging pants with sneakers. It's like, let's get all decked out and we are becoming open to not just
J
Mm-hmm.
Lisann Valentin
being seen as we are, but being seen through the lens of that other person. So maybe they're wearing murky glasses, right? Or maybe we're a reflection of something they don't have yet. Or we remind them of something that doesn't feel good in their bodies. What I'm saying is when we are in a space where there's a spotlight on us, we gotta own our own light. We get to own our own light. Otherwise, the perspectives of others will easily absorb it.
And I say that because I came onto the space, the red carpet, totally owning my shit. I set the intention. Thank you. I set that intention in the beginning because I'm empathic, right? So I will feel everyone's and I will sense and I will sometimes hear what other people are thinking coming at me. And I was like, nope, I'm not doing that today. I'm just gonna be in my energy of love. And that is that. It takes practice to get there.
J
You did. You fucking did.
Lisann Valentin
because we're not like hardwired. Well, that's not true. We're reprogrammed to not be that way. But I allowed myself to switch that up and change my software so I can show up. Because the first time I was in red carpet, Jess, I will tell you, it was not that. I was feeling everyone's feelings. I was so insecure. It was like a zoo for real. And I didn't like being yelled at to turn this way and blah, blah. Like, so uncomfortable.
J
Mm-hmm.
Lisann Valentin
But if you can just show up and own your shit and own who you are and love yourself. Just love. What I mean by this is just be in such a place of self love that doesn't matter. None of the other shit matters.
J
Mm-hmm. Right.
Lisann Valentin
And we saw a lot of people doing that. Like freaking, a lot of that male actors go up there and they don't give a shit. They just go up, boom, take their picture, they're out, right?
J
Yes.
Lisann Valentin
Yeah, right? Like, so, so they're so in their body, they're so fine with it, you know. And I had to actively set that intention. I really felt it. It was a new experience for me. My other experiences doing red carpet were not that.
J
Mm-hmm.
Lisann Valentin
They were full of stress. They were racked with stress and anxiety.
J
It also makes me think about how it's really connected for me with not wanting anyone to have anything to do with my body and how I'm presenting my body. And I think I've always sort of been like this, but my experience is heightened that or like, I don't love appearing sexy. Like I don't love showing my body. And so it's interesting because Brandi the character was this like sexy character and I behind the scenes and in my prep, like did a ton of work to make it an empowering sexiness and sensuality and a conscious use of that sexuality to get what I wanted.
It was empowered. I figured out how to make it, justify it to myself to make it an empowering thing, not just using my body for the sake of my body being something on a camera. And I, they were really lovely about asking me what I was and wasn't comfortable with in terms of what I was wearing. And I made it very clear with the costume designer, Allison, like she's like, Oh, can we cut this skirt a little bit shorter? No. And also part of that was just
logistically, I needed to sit in the dirt in one scene and I was like, no one, yeah, that's not this movie. And then even going then onto the red carpet, like I wasn't wearing anything crazy body, but it was still like a tighter dress. And I was very aware of the expectation to look a certain way.
Lisann Valentin
Right.
J
and to present a certain way. And I just wanted to make sure that with what I was wearing, like I wore shoes that I was really comfortable with. They were like chunky boots. So I knew I don't feel comfortable in pumps or those kinds of things. So I wasn't gonna even begin to look at that, even though I think in my head, what a person wears to a premiere is more like that. I was like, I'm gonna dress in a way that makes me feel good, but I also have this resistance to being looked at in that way.
So then it felt kind of strange to be there and walking up and having my picture taken. And I want to try to reframe that. Like we're celebrating this film that we made that was like a lot of work and a lot of love put into it. And we're taking pictures to commemorate a moment. And that's what it can be. So I had to shift that in my brain.
Lisann Valentin
Mm-hmm.
J
And also I will say that going into that night, I had texted you, cause you're supposed to be there early to sign posters. I love this. And I texted you and I was like, Oh my gosh, I'm going to be five minutes late. And you're like, girl, I'm going to be like a bunch late. Don't worry about it. And after I had like circled around trying to find parking forever, cause I misread the instructions and everything, I pull into the parking lot, which like no one else was parking in that parking lot. And then you were just there.
Lisann Valentin
Yes.
J
You were just there walking out of your car and I was like, this is, this is something, like very serendipitous. I got to walk into this experience with you and my boyfriend and your family. And we kind of just like, we're a unit coming in together to this experience. And then when we got to the red carpet, like you very much physically pulled me and energetically pulled me into the space, like.
Lisann Valentin
Mm-hmm.
J
I think what had happened is like, I was talking to someone and like the cast picture was being taken. And then you literally were like, wait, Jess isn't here. We got to get this shit together. And I was like, pulled in. So I thank you for that. You were such a guiding light for me, both energetically and emotionally, and then like literally in an acting and business of acting context and I will say Joel was also so lovely the whole time. Like very different vibes in very different ways but he really led me through what I thought was going to be really uncomfortable in the learning and he just made it very casual very much like oh yeah this is like they're doing this shot thing and blah like I didn't know anything.
Lisann Valentin
Mm-hmm.
J
never walked on a set in my life. And so between having him in that very like logistic way and also just being able to like goof off with him and he's very funny and very, very kind. I know he probably doesn't want me to say that he wants to keep up like the cool guy act, but he's very kind. And then you with everything you gave it was just
Lisann Valentin
I know.
J
very, it felt very serendipitous and like it was all meant to happen in that way that it did.
Lisann Valentin
I think so. It was so aligned. It was so...
Lisann Valentin
If we treat other people the way we want to be treated, and let's go a step further, the way we would want to even treat ourselves, like if we really could think about that, because sometimes we don't.
then there'll be so much more kindness, so much more compassion, and so much more patience. And when we're in a state of co-creation, that's the way to be, in my perspective. If we're making something together, don't we all wanna feel held in this and know that we can show up and own our creativity and feel safe? And watching you was just like a marvel, just to see you. No one would have ever known you'd never stepped onto a set, ever. You were so, and maybe that's also a credit to the years of performance experience that you've had, that you know how to step into yourself. And I know maybe embody isn't your word. You know, maybe another word will help you. Remember that you really are just like in it. Once you're in it, in your performance space, you're in it. You know, there's no trepidation. You're doing the thing.
J
Mm-hmm.
Lisann Valentin
You know, you ask the questions, you're in your sovereignty, in your autonomy, and very open and willing to move in a way that honors the story. So probably whether that's dance or whether that's writing or whether that's acting, like you're doing it. And all I felt was that we were going to set full of professionals the whole time. And they were all there to catch each other if we needed it. And that is something that I was hoping that I could also foster.
J
Mm-hmm. Yes.
Lisann Valentin
because it was being fostered in me too, you know, so.
J
You did. Yeah. Well, I'm gonna close us off with one final question, which you've pretty much answered throughout this whole podcast, but we'll ask it because it's the question. What is your human bio? So what is your bio that exists off of your resume?
Lisann Valentin
My human bio, me? Me, Lisann, my human bio. Hmm.
J
Yeah.
Lisann Valentin
I'm getting all these things pouring in. I'm like, I'm not gonna say that.
J
Pour it out, girly.
Lisann Valentin
Hmm.
Lisann Valentin
Spiritual wild child, daughter of the stars. Luminary in human form. Yeah. Or just love.
J
Beautiful. Well, I love you so much. I'm so grateful for you. This was so magical. And I knew it would be, because that's what you bring to every conversation, every interaction. And we are all very lucky to have you here with us at this time in this life.
Lisann Valentin
Thank you. I love you too. Aww, thank you. I receive it, I receive it. Thank you Jess. This is such a beautiful adventure.
J
You're so welcome. You're so welcome. Yeah. Well, I love you and we will talk soon and I hope you have a beautiful name day.
Lisann Valentin
Thank you. You too. Enjoy the day, whatever it brings. Love you.
J
Thank you. Okay, bye. Love you. Yay.